Ashes Facts

Ashes fact 81

Len Hutton once had an affair with Helen Mirren.

Ashes fact 82

Terry Alderman was actually a robot experiment from Japan.

Unfortunately due to a series of unfortunate mishaps the experiment could never be duplicated.

Graham Gooch helped Ozaki police with their enquiries, no charges were laid.

Ashes fact 83

Wilfred Rhodes was perhaps crickets first sex symbol.

He often posed sans pants. He had a massive tool, and was not afraid to show it.

Some say that his massive member had something to do with all the different batting positions he batted in.

But that makes no sense.

Ashes fact 84

Doug Ring invented a time machine.

And even though he was the second best leg spinner of all time, he decided to bowl in the same team as the best, Tiger Bill O’ Reilly, as a homage to leg spin.

Few people understood this, and they demanded that Doug use the time travel to go to the 70s or 80s where he would be better appreciated.

But Doug was a man of principle, and to him bowling behind Tiger Bill gave him a status far greater than Shane Warne’s.

He blew up the time machine, and never regretted it.

Ashes fact 85

Denis Compton was a Private Investigator.

And one time after a really troubling case a friend of his said, ‘Forget it Den. It’s Basildon.”

Years went by and eventually one day Compton saw the cinematic release of the film Chinatown. In it he heard the very same line said to Jack Nicholson, a popular film actor of the day.

Compton was so mad he had the director, a French chap, set up on false sodomy charges.

That’s right, he wielded that sort of power.

Ashes fact 86

In the history of Ashes cricket only 3 players have ever killed another player on the field with a sword.

Ashes fact 87

87 is an unlucky number in Australia as Sam Loxton once ate 87 dim sims on the rest day of an Ashes test in Melbourne.

The 87th got stuck in his throat and Neil Harvey had to jump up and down on his stomach until they all came up.

From then on the number 87 was synomomous with bad luck in cricket.

Years later Shane Warne would eat 114 dim sims in a day, it wasn’t an Ashes test though, Warne took 4 wickets that day.


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