December 18, 2021

From the Wiki page: “Sehwagology is a body of beliefs and related practices created by Australian cricket blogger Uncle JRod. JRod developed Sehwagology teachings on 3rd April, 2008. CricketWithBalls – Scriptures of Sehwagology as a tribute to Indian cricketing god Virender Sehwag. JRod later characterised Sehwagology as an “applied religious philosophy” and the basis for a new religion with the first Sehwagology church being established in London, December 2008. A commonly held belief among Sehwagologists is that aggressive batting and attacking spin bowling is the best weapon in the war against probots”

The moment Sehwagology was delivered to the people.

The 10 Virendandments – Sehwag’s Revelation in the Old Testament (Wisden).

They were given directly by Sehwag to the people of India at
Chidambaram Stadium after He had delivered them from Boredom in Chennai:

“And Sehwag spoke all these words, saying: ‘I am the opening batsmen, your God…

ONE: ‘You shall have no other gods before Me, except Sachin and maybe Sunil.’

TWO: ‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Infact don’t carve anything that is not wide outside off stump.’

THREE: ‘You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, so if you stub your toe, try to not say Oh Sehwag.’

FOUR: ‘Remember the 3rd day, the pitch is often at it’s best.’

FIVE: ‘Honor your father and your mother, and your sponsors.’

SIX: ‘You shall not murder, exceptions made for opening bowlers, spinners and probots.’

SEVEN: ‘You shall not commit quick singles.’

EIGHT: ‘You shall not be worrying about playing and missing.’

NINE: ‘You shall not bear false witness against the BCCi.’

TEN: ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, but if he bowls a wide half volley hit it like it stole your donkey or ox.’

The Sehwagology XI

And he sent his only sons.

11 men with rock hard testicles, and great hand eye co-ordination.

And he said, they will carve, they will plunder, and you will applaud.

  1. Victor Trumper, he shall go in early, and reek havoc on the bowlers.
  2. Michael Slater, he shall jump around like a virgin in hell, and reek havoc in the change room.
  3. Viv Richards, he shall be cooler than anyone you know, or don’t know.
  4. Mark Waugh, he shall make mullets and dandruff ads palatable, whilst flicking one off his pads.
  5. Sanath Jayasuriya, he shall be a pirate, and conquer the 7 seas.
  6. Keith Miller, he shall be your superhero.
  7. Adam Gilchrist, he shall release a plague of locusts on your ass.
  8. Ian Botham, he shall drink the opposition under the table.
  9. Kapil Dev, he shall dance for us.
  10. Shahid Afridi, he shall reek havoc and destruction, on himself.
  11. Wasim Akram, he shall be faster than you can see.

And on the 5th day, they rest.