The two sides of Salman Butt

Watching Pakistan in the field this test was always going to be interesting. With Butt as the new sheriff in town. Captain’s should never be judged on one game, but let me do it anyway, Butt’s captaincy varied from the inspired, the forgetful and the shambolic. Like most captains he was dependent on his bowlers, who were dependent on the weather. But his captaincy during the Smith innings fell apart. The field was set without common sense...

Is Troy Cooley M. Yass?

Troy Cooley has been named as the interim head coach of Australia while Greg Chappell gets his resume in order. It’s hard to warm to this news, it’s like finding out that a band who’s first album was kinda ok is making a come back by playing their greatest hits in your kitchen. In my self acclaimed new book ‘Australian Autopsy‘ I posed the question of whether Mitchell Johnson actually exists, or whether he is just a construct of Troy...

Dilshan Dilshan is the new Sri Lanka captain

Tillakaratne Dilshan has been named Sri Lankan captain for all three forms of the game, or so the press release in front of me says. Curiously, though, the appointment is only for the forthcoming tour of England, and no vice-captain has been named. The press release states that the other prospective candidates are nursing injuries, although no matter how often I read it I still can’t work out if they mean that the vice-captaincy is vacant...

India is superpower

There are no more tracer bullets to dodge, the truth is now here. India is superpower. Frankly I am happy, as I have always assumed the Indian race was far superior to all other races. All our problems are gone, let us bathe lustily in the knowledge that India owns us. Now I can happily bow down before them and wait to meet their every command. For too long I’ve waited for a powerful race to take over the world, and in India we have a...

World Twenty20

Jesse’s Groin is New Zealand cricket Hard-hitting New Zealand cricketer Jesse Ryder has been admitted to a London hospital after injuring his groin in a Magic Johnson style sex romp. Concern over his groin muscle injury continues to escalate as Jesse refuses to stop bedding Women at Julio Iglesias numbers, as he believes that having multiple partners actually improves his footwork. Ryder was unavailable to play in New Zealand’s one-run loss...

Pakistan Cricket Team

Shoaib Ahktar has Genital Warts says PCB official: TRUE STORY. When it was reported that Shoaib Ahktar had a skin condition on his groin; I thought about writing a whole post about him having some STD. I was going to write about oozing puss, scabby skin, and really freak you out. But then I thought, no, that is TOO easy. Way TOO easy. Instead I wrote about Shoaib wearing Geoff Lawson’s skin as a coat. Now the Pakistani’s are dropping Shoaib...

Daniel, where is the anger?

“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you all” That is rougly what Daniel Vettori said after Ryan Sidebottom’s tackle of Grant Elliott that almost cost New Zealand a close game. It was probably the closest i have ever felt to him. It was glorious pure victorious rage. This is what he said after Haddin’s creative wicket keeping. “I think you saw from Haddin’s reaction that he knew something was wrong so he probably should have made more noise...

MITTENS’S DEMOTED

Didn’t take long for sanity to prevail. Oh Kallis is captaining. Didn’t take long for South Africa to completely lose the fucken plot. Indulge me for a moment please. Smith was captain; Mitch did him in. Boucher took over in the field; has since been overlooked twice. Ashwell Mittens Prince got the gig; but apparently opening the batting was too much for him. And now Jacques Kallis is captain. That is some major fucken freak out. Boucher...

The Brett Lee debate

Before Australia played Sri Lanka in late 07 I thought Lee might be lucky to hold onto a place in the Australian side. His form was ok, as it had always been, but I figured there were other bowlers who were younger who could come in and average 32. Then in his next 9 tests he took 58 wickets @ 21, and I thought he was the best fast bowler in the world. He was still fast, but now he kept the pressure on, lead the attack, bowled vile inducingly...

Dirk shook up the world

There is always something that starts off social and cultural revolutions. A song, an act, or a crime that grabs people and moves the world onto a new course. We have one today. What has happened today will be on par with Gandhi’s hunger strike, Rosa Parks on that bus and the Berlin wall coming down. Today, magic happened. A singular moment that purports to change only one person’s life, but really effects every single one of us. The man,...