Nathan Lyon: Is that you, Jesus?

December 18, 2021

Have you ever sat back and thought about how people knew Jesus was their saviour.

I mean, he did some cool shit, but if he did the same shit now he’d be wearing a suit with shoulder pads and staring like a sex pest into the camera.

People were obviously easier to impress in those days, I mean, if I went back with an iPhone and a torch five minutes after Jesus, there would probably be paintings of a whiter than usual version of me half naked with a six pack and manly beard on walls around the world.

Recent Australian spinners like Jesus, they’re often sacrificed.

Recent Australian cricket fans are like medieval people, desperate for salvation.

But is Lyon actually the real deal.

I mean was today’s spell was more water into wine more than walking on water.

Because this pitch looks like it wants nothing more than wickets.

If any pitch in world cricket is going turn water into wine it’s this one.

You can almost suggest that the pitch has done more dramatic party tricks than Lyon, it turned Shane Watson into a Test bowler, that’s fucken biblical.

The Galle pitch or not, people will flock to Lyon and ask him to cure them of their spin woes.

It’s inevitable, because they have been starved for so long, well only four years, but it feels like 40 years in the desert to most of us.

It would be unfair on the back of one innings to say that Lyon is or isn’t a spin bowling messiah, yet, it will happen.

Desperate people want to believe, and Lyon’s scruffy I’ve been walking through the desert look combined with the fact he just magically appeared with no one really documenting his life before this will mean that he will thought of as a saviour.

Even if just for this one test.

The problem is Nathan Lyon is just a man, he can probably turn water into wine when conditions favour it, but he’ll drown if he tries to walk on water.

It’s also possible that he is a false prophet, that this is just some random fluke that he can never repeat again.

And don’t say that can’t happen, I’ve still got my monogrammed ’Jason Krejza is my saviour’ dressing gown.