After Sachin

December 17, 2021

Someone sent me an email that said, After Sachin.

For some people that is a scary thought.

It doesn’t have to be.

In a 1000 years when India is running the entire planet, and maybe a few others, people shall use After Sachin, or the term AS as a way of counting the years.

Everything before his career started could be simply, BT, or more aptly for some, BS. For instance, the year 2987 AD would become, 1 BS.

2000 years of some other dude is more than enough anyway, the world needs a new hero, and our Indian overlords have given us Sachin, it seems kind of stupid not to use him.

Unlike Jesus, who all we have to prove his existence is some rumours of magic tricks and potential grave robbing, with Sachin we have youtube.

Digital archaeologists will just have to fire up old computers and look at the clips, whilst reading the comments underneath to know how much love and respect we have for one another.

There might be some cynical new age types who suggest that the videos are faked, that he was just an actor, like the other known fraudster god, Tom Cruise, and that Sachin is nothing more than a false prophet.

There will also be some will also think that while Sachin was important, Joey from Blossom was the real messiah.

But, who cares about these Joeites, true believers will know that Sachin is the only saviour of humanity. Fuck them anyway, they can believe what they want, the year is 3011 AS, he’s already beaten them.

And when our descendants sit down on Sachmas day, eating korma and watching their kids open up their Virender Claus presents, they’ll have a jolly good time.