India’s cunning plan to defraud Test Cricket

December 21, 2021

As part of their plan to end test cricket, India have decided to devalue the World Number 1 test ranking.

Those cunning rat bastards.

Just when we all start to think they love test cricket, they lose a test by an innings to perhaps lose as badly as any world number one team has ever lost a first test.

Some players turned up so late that even Chris Gayle was upset. Warm up games were not required. Half the team were still playing in one dayers until day two of the test. And there is a rumour that Gary Kirsten was reading Herschelle Gibbs book instead of formulating plans to beat the Saffers.

Sure, some dude made runs again, but that was just a diversion.

The Indians want to devalue test cricket, they don’t want to get lynched for losing by an innings.

So they throw Sachin a couple of headlines while doing exactly what they always wanted to do, bring the five day game to it’s knees.

There are some who just think the lack of preperation was because of general stupidity, but I sense something more.

This has Lalit Modi’s professionally manicured hands all over it.

It’s a huge globo-national conspiracy I tell you, and Lalit Modi, in which ever third world country he is currently hiding in, is still pulling the strings and sniggering.

They couldn’t have been that bad on purpose, could they? No. This is all part of their sick little plan. They’re world number 1, and even with their history of phoning in the first test, this is a special kind of humiliation that can’t possible be just through bad play.

Even the timing of Sachin’s 50th hundred was sent to try and derail the Ashes.

They’re sick I tell you. If we don’t act now, we’ll all be wearing gold helmets and playing 8 over cricket for a bloke who owns Bollywood actresses and sells his piss as beer.

They’re world number 1, and even with their history of phoning in the first test; this is a special kind of humiliation.

It’s plain as day, they’re defrauding test cricket. Right in front of our eyes. Bastards.

Beware of India… Beware! Beware of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys… Puppy dog tails, and BIG FAT SNAILS… Beware… Take care… Beware!