Australia pick up a random player from bus stop, Michael Beer picked for the WACA

December 18, 2021

Having run out of cricketers in shield cricket due to injury, T20 contracts and general uselessness, Cricket Australia has made a shock decision to pick a player from a local bus shelter in Perth.

Michael Beer is this lucky man’s name.

Beer, 26, a tall blonde chap formerly of the Democratic Republic of Victoria, was waiting for the number 87 bus to go down to the beach when Greg Chappell was driving by.

Chappell, an amazing judge of cricketers, saw something in Beer as he was tapping on his legs waiting for the bus to arrive.

Those seconds of tapping were enough to show Chappell that Beer could be the spinner that Australia have been waiting for.

Chappell said, “You can tell a great spinner by his fingers, it doesn’t matter if he is bowling or not, it’s just a case of looking at them and feeling that they have the magic in them. Beer’s fingers certainly felt magical to me”.

It was only later on that the Australian selectors actually found out that Beer was actually playing shield cricket. Chappell apparently saw this as a sign that his eye was keener than most, but Beer had been wearing his full Warriors kit when at the bus stop.

When presented with the fact that Beer had played 5 first class games, taken 16 wickets at an average of 39, Chappell said, “so, this isn’t the matrix, numbers mean nothing, my eyes are the one”.

Later on Andrew Hilditch was informed of the selection, “Look, I didn’t have that much to do with this selection, but Matthew Beer is an exciting prospect, Warnie told me about him, and Warnie is not known to talk up players from his former clubs”.

Nathan Hauritz’s shoelaces have been taken off him as a precaution.