Happy Birthday sweet balls

December 21, 2021

Today is the birthday of cricket with balls.

Or tomorrow.

But, roughly speaking, it is about now.

Cricket With Balls is 3 years old, yet, it still regularly pisses it self and can’t walk. It is a mouthy little fucker, though.

I have no idea what to do as a birthday post, so with no real planning or thought I thought I’d run through my favourite CWB memories and things I thank Cricket With Balls for.

Bryce McGain leaving a comment on a post.

Nesta Quinn telling Neil Harvey about the blog and Neil Harvey asking if a blog is some kind of boot.

The MCG giving me wireless access for writing during shield games.

Writing a book for me.

Knowing that Murali and Dirk Nannes own my books.

Accidentally tricking Jonathan Agnew into posting a satire piece as a news piece on twitter.

When Gideon Haigh wore a cwb t-shirt on an Indian cricket show, even if they did cut if off so you couldn’t see it.

Getting me on CNN wearing a Galaga t shirt.

When I was ignored during an ABC interview and had my name forgotten on a BBC interview.

My first ever trip into the world’s darkest press box at the Oval.

A hiring and firing by Surrey.

Falling in love with the feet of IOB.

Having Rana Naved tell me he likes the site.

Cricket Victoria sending me free shit for years of free promotion for them.

Becoming a Test Match Sofa commentator.

Inspiring someone to tell me I was a typical left leaning socialist film maker from Melbourne.

Finding out there was actually a cricket underground filled with people who loved cricket as much as me and were just as fucked up as I am.

Writing a piece in Wisden with a swear word in it.

Suggesting live arm wrestles to Lalit Modi for IPL auctions.

Meeting Steve Waugh, twice.

Seeing Majid Khan help Barry Richards open a window.

Pissing next to Angus Fraser.

Being inches away from Richie Benaud’s trousers.

Writing about cricket without rules or grammar.

Inspiring countless relatives and family friends to read swear words.

Starting a magazine.

Getting me a bat sponsor.

My polish Robocop poster.

Giving other writers false hope.

The terms administracrat, sehwagology, once in a generation teddy bears and probots.

The ability to talk shit about cricket like I did with my friends.

Meeting new, fucked up friends.

Getting me a wife.

There is probably more, but that is all I can think of for now.

Happy birthday balls, you cheeky cuntwad.