I want to work in cricket.
Not because it makes me rich, not because I’ll ever play for my country, and not because I think it is a cool job.
I do it because cricket is something that I love.
Since I was a child it has been the one constant in my life. My first overseas trip was for cricket. When I was a kid I slept with a new bat in my dead. My Friday afternoons were all about working out the best fielding positions for the next day. I spent days on end sitting the MCG with no one else watching the vics. The delivery of the cricket gear catalogue was more spiritual than anything else in my life.
Right at the moment I don’t like cricket.
I fucken hate it.
I’m so sick and tired of this shit.
It makes me sick.
This whole thing makes me doubt the game I love, the game I grew up with.
Cricketers should be paid more, but there isn’t a cricketer in this test match who will make less than I will this year. Or last year, or the year before.
But this isn’t just about money. It’s the Fucken nerve, the Fucken spinelessness, the Fucken abuse.
I’m so Fucken angry at these assholes of cunts. Those who set it up, those who benefit from it, and those who do it.
I’m assuming that most people reading this, and the person who wrote it, would play for his country for free. Or at least, what ever a plumber gets.
Some people are just cunts, and they don’t deserve cricket. And cricket sure as shit doesn’t deserve them.
I cannot fully articulate how angry I am right now.
The game I love has never been clean, but this just seems worse.
Probably because it is in a test match.
But it just feels Fucken horrible right now.
Like someone has cheated on me.
I’m not naïve about spot fixing, I’ve written more than a few pieces about it. I know it goes on. But in pointless ICL, IPL or Pro40 games.
This is way Fucken worse.
I’ve never forgiven Hansie Cronje, and I sure as shit wont forgive anyone here either.
No one is guilty yet, that doesn’t make this any better.
I’ve read the transcripts, seen the video and read all the articles. I want it to be fake, but it doesn’t feel fake. It feels wrong, because when i read or watch it, i feel sick in my stomach.
I talked to a friend on the phone, both he and I knew that fixing was around, but this still rocked both of us. I could barely talk, he was breaking down.
We are grown men, men that love and work in cricket. But this just hits you, even if you thought it was a possibility. Even if you thought it could have been happening. To read the details just hurts.
My game, fucked.
Maybe some of the details from NOTW are wrong, but something has happened, I saw those no balls live, I don’t need news channels showing them to me with a photoshopped circles around them. They looked dodgy at the time, we even joked on test match sofa that it was like the no balls that David Saker used to bowl on purpose back in club cricket.
This is just complete shit.
I can’t be bothered with it. There is so much to say, but I’m too Fucken angry, probably even more upset.
Cricket, I love it, but I fucken hate it. Right now.