Thank you, Pakistan

December 21, 2021

How can anyone not like this fucking country?

That was one of the most amazing test matches I’ve ever seen.

Bowling a team out for 88 on the first day, and then limping to the line with 3 nervy wickets in hand on the fourth day.

Pakistan give you everything you need, they do farce, drama and anarchy in one ball. And they do them all better than other teams.

This test had to be the best of Pakistan.

Not that this was the best they played, far from it, at times they were really ordinary, I mean how else can you only win by 3 wickets after being in front on the first day. That takes true madness.

But that is the best of Pakistan.

That sort of free flowing nature between utter shit and perfect genius. Like a professor who cures cancer one day and drives his car into his swimming pool the next.

If they were going to beat Australia for the first time in the lives of many Pakistan teenagers, they had to do it their way.

If this was some calculated professional win that they dominated from the start that finished with no drama, it wouldn’t have been very Pakistan.

This was awesomely Pakistan.

When most teams bowl a team out for 88, they win easily, but why would Pakistan.

It would be wrong.

They gave their fans a reason to think about killing themselves, and then a reason to run around hugging random strangers. This was perfect.

Just look at what they gave us in one test, sudden new captain, brilliant bowling, solid batting, rubbish field placements, the chance of losing, good catching, rubbish out fielding, loss of plot, steady chase and then an ass shaking finish with people playing stupid shots, the use of bad camera work, and the winning runs going inches from the hand of a fielder.

This wasn’t a Sydney sequel, this was a Pakistani reinterpretation.

When Gul hit the winning runs I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, piss myself or yell, and that is Pakistan. The best I could do was a sort of grunt hurrah.

And they beat my side. I should have been furious, but this was such a great test I forgot about all that and just marvelled at Gul’s slap.

Sure I’d kill myself if they were my side, but fuck I love having them in test cricket.