Josh Hazelwood Vs Stephen Finn – the McGrath off

December 21, 2021

Stephen Finn is the new Glenn McGrath. Of that there can be no doubt.

He bowls, has hair, skin and toe nails, is tall, thin, gets bounce, bowls a decent line and doesn’t swing the ball.

How could he possibly be more like McGrath?

England did it; they created the perfect McGrath clone, one that can torment Australia for years with bounce, consistency and wickets.

All their problems are over, the sun is shining, squirrels are humping cats, huzzah.

The problem is that he isn’t the only one out there. As Tony put it, “Australia have promoted the real new Glenn McGrath”.

The Australian NSP (wank speak for selectors) couldn’t just sit around and watch England bring out the new McGrath, so they brought out their own.

Josh Hazelwood, who is tall, bounce, etc, you know, pretty much the same thing as Finn without the test wickets against Bangladesh.

The ashes has started early, my friends.

This McGrath off is getting serious.

Finn has the thinness, Hazelwood has the county NSWales back round.

Australia didn’t need to pick Hazelwood, they had other options, Hilfenhaus and George could have gone, but both men are not like McGrath.

They did it just to show that they aren’t afraid of showing their new McGrath to England, even though England are hiding their new McGrath.

Ofcourse in order to be a real McGrath off, their should be a reality game show.

Finn and Hazelwood would have to go head to head in a bunch of McGrath events.

They’ll have to try and pick up an English flight attendant.

Try and hit a gnat’s ass at 20 yards.

Get hair cuts to see which one can truly pull off the 8 year old boy’s hair cut.

One pig will be released, they both have to go after it in the most boring way they can, but they still have to kill it.

And finally a tea pot competition to see which player can pull of the angry face the best.

Only then can we finally know who should be ruined by the name “the new McGrath”.