Gambhir’s Thoughtcrime

December 21, 2021

I can say that Rajasthan Royals are ordinary.

So you can.

You can point to any number of facts:

The fact they have lost more games than they have won.

Their gun strike bowler goes at 8 and half runs an over.

Their batting was reliant on one big hitter and their keeper, now they have added Watson to it.

People keep making encouraging noises about Michael Lumb, almost ignoring the fact he hasn’t gone beyond 45 and averages 23.

Warne’s shoulder seems to almost detach after each delivery.

The Damien Martyn experiment failed, surprising everyone.

Adam Voges is there best-performed player, and they don’t pick him.

They’re the very definition of ordinary.

When they do win, it needs to be a special effort from Yusuf or one of those terribly earnest team efforts where everyone does well.

They could still come good, there is no reason why they couldn’t slip into fourth place, actually there are many reasons why they couldn’t, but they still could.

So if you are asked about them, you can call them ordinary.

Unless you happen to be an IPL captain, then you can’t.

Gautum City Gambhir was asked about Rajasthan, he said they were ordinary, actually he said this, “I think Rajasthan was never a threat. Except for Yusuf Pathan, the other guys were pretty ordinary. We thought Yusuf was the only danger-man and didn’t bother too much about anyone else”.

That is the truth.

Not the universal truth, but that is what Gambhir thought, then he said it, people nodded, and Lalit Modi got angry.

Perhaps Lalit got angrier because his team is Rajasthan, or perhaps he got angry because someone inside the bubble dared say anything negative about the IPL.

Either way, it is the sort of thing anyone who hates the IPL expects Lalit to do.

They expect him to be this Orwellian evil figure that punishes people for daring to do anything less than continue to believe in his own magnificence.

He plays the role so well.

Ofcourse Gambhir should be allowed to say Rajasthan are ordinary.

I can see why he shouldn’t be allowed to say something like, “Fuck me, I couldn’t believe how Fucken shit they all were. It was like playing against a special needs team. The only bright light in this team, other than Warne’s radioactive teeth, is Yusuf, and the big fucker can’t play a short ball. No, they is the rubbish, complete dribble, we had to be careful not to laugh at them when the cameras panned in our direction, you could call them ordinary, but you’d be being nice. To be honest, I only play in this shit cause I want to build a grotto in my back yard, otherwise I’d be in Mauritius having a holiday”.

But he didn’t, he just said ordinary, and then was fined, by the ex-president of Rajasthan Cricket Association.