A forensic examination of a shove and a vow

December 21, 2021

When I read about Sulieman Benn, Brad Haddin and Mitchell Johnson getting into a shoving match I wet myself in at least two different ways.

Then I saw it.

The play by play.

Haddin hits a ball into the ball short on the leg side; Benn and Johnson get in a tangle. Not that it is hard to get tangled with Benn. They collided fairly naturally; Johnson tried to push him away, Benn seemed to grab him and tried to get his leg in his way, and eventually they unentwined and the run was completed.

Haddin got pissed that Benn was grabbing at Johnson; I doubt he would have seen Johnson’s push from his position. He then had a go at Benn, with a bit of bat waving nonsense thrown in.

Then Benn got angry, mostly about the bat waving, as Haddin and Gayle had a fairly unaggressive chat. Benn then kept abusing Haddin (who seemed bored of it and walked away) about the bat waving and kept calling him big man. From what I could hear I believe he said, “Watch yourself, big man, don’t fucken point your bat at me, man.” Gayle didn’t try to do much so Billy came over, eventually.

Then later when Benn was bowling to Haddin he hit one straight back to Benn who feigned that he was going to throw the ball at Haddin/thestumps, probably the equivalent of the bat waving. It was a terrible feign, and obvious he was not going to throw, so much so that you couldn’t even say he was going to throw it at Haddin, as he never really cocked his arm correctly. It was more a wild swing of the arms from a 2 year old.

That was the end of the over and Haddin walked down mouthing off to Benn (Benn could have been mouthing back but that angle wasn’t shown). Benn did a big like point at Haddin, but Johnson got in the way, and Benn’s arm struck Johnson ever so lightly, and Johnson tried to swat it away like someone had poured ice down his top and Benn slapped his arm away.

Then Billy finally got sort of involved and Benn left.

The history.

Haddin and Benn have history, last tour they kept chirping at each other, and at one stage Benn thrust out his leg to try and trip Haddin. Not sure if that had anything to do wit this, but they clearly don’t like each other.

Perhaps Neil Broom and Benn are friends?

In this tour Benn has been yapping non stop to the aussies, and the funniest moment had to be when Watson was marking his guard to start the last innings at Adelaide and Benn was craned over him talking and talking.

Haddin has also been chirping a lot when Benn has been into bat.

The verdict.

What a load of shit. It wasn’t a shoving match; it was an accidental tap and some heated words. Haddin probably rented a high horse he has no moral reason to get on, and Benn overreacted and then dragged it out until it was almost painful to watch.

Perhaps if the ICC want to clean cricket of any sort of human emotion Haddin and Benn should be given a level one fine for the bat waving, feigned throw and swearing, but it still seems pretty piss poor to me. I can’t see how Johnson can even be charged.

But what about Billy, he could have stopped this at any time. What the hell was he doing? First he stood behind the stumps as Benn got angrier and angrier, then he took way too long to get down to where Benn and Haddin were clearly going to meet. Will he get fined for failing to act, will he get warned that he needs to get involved in these things and try and diffuse them. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen Billy stand around and so nothing while teams are getting heated.

My vow.

If any player gets suspended, and from the original charges it seems only Benn can, I will start a petition to get him freed.

Cricket is a passionate game, people get fired up. Things are said, glares are exchanged, bats are waived, and fingers are pointed. That is all good. Passion is why we love this game.

We want to see players who are out there to win, not collect endorsements. Benn is a fiery bugger, and I love that about him. If the ICC wants to take people like him out of the game then they have to get by this site first.

There are no fingers pointed or bats waived in my Ashes book, but there should be.