Shoaib Ahktar is beyond satire

December 21, 2021

Drugs, warts, hitting blokes with bats, that hair, the secret love affair with Geoff Lawson and now liposuction.

Shoaib is too good for this site.

I try, but he is better.

I could never do an in bed with Shoaib, as anything I write could never full live up to what he could actually do.

If I wrote, “Shoaib brings a complete circus (freaks, animals and carnies) into the bedroom for foreplay”, the next week their would be a headline about Shoaib being caught fisting a tribe of intersex dwarves.

He is that special.

How could anyone have ever thought a headline with liposuction in it would be his future.

The man is special.

One day he will be gone, and I will be sad.

But for now I will rejoice in the fact the he is still here, although less of him, and that he will continue to entertain us off the field.

We can only hope he doesn’t get picked, so he gives himself more time to get into shit.