Reasons why Australia can still win retain the Ashes

December 18, 2021

Stuart Broad.

Mathematically they are only one test behind.

Mitchell Johnson’s mum loves him.

Freddie will not be allowed to use a wheelchair on the field.

Nathan Hauritz is god.

Ian Bell.

Giles Clarke never wears suits that fit him, James Sutherland does.

Shane Watson won’t play.

Marcus North is sick and tired of no one knowing him and will come out swinging making a better than a run a ball double hundred.

The real Mitchell Johnson flies in tomorrow.

Jimmy Anderson just looked at the stats and realised he is shitter than Mitchell Johnson.

Emma Prior keeps sitting on Richie’s knee.

If England wins Mark Nicholas will have to start supporting England again and that will cause a rip in the space-time continuum that will force the whole planet to be sucked into another universe.

They‘re playing England.