The warm gentle stream of the captain’s press conferences

December 22, 2021

Ricky Ponting on the Glove and Moob controversy:

“I don’t think it was required, he changed it the over before, I don’t think they’d be too sweaty in one over.

I’m not sure what the physio was doing out there, I didn’t see anyone call for the physio to come out. As far as I’m concerned, it was pretty ordinary really.

But they can play whatever way they want to play.

We came to play by the rules and the spirit of the game, it’s up to them to do what they want to do.”

I won’t be saying anything about it.”

Is the spirit of the game to stand mid pitch and call Graeme Swann a fucking cunt? I’m not saying it isn’t, I’m just asking where in the ’spirit of cricket’ that part is.

And how can you finish a whole diatribe on something and then say I won’t be saying anything about it.

Then Andrew Strauss threw in this:

“There was a lot of confusion to be fair. We sent the 12th man out to let Jimmy and Monty know the fact there was time left, rather than the (number of) overs.

Then there were drinks spilt on his gloves and Jimmy called to the dressing room and we weren’t sure whether Jimmy wanted the 12th man or the physio, just a lot of confusion.”

Oh, that is ok then.

It was just that some of us didn’t realise the gloves were all sticky, and we didn’t know Jimmy and Montybot were too stupid to ask the umpires whether it was time or overs left.

Come on gentlemen, if you are going to piss all over us, at least pay us or give us a towel.

Ricky, stop being a hypocritical wanker and own the fact your team does dodgy shit all the time.

Andrew, just admit you were wasting time, it’s ok, we get it. If the umpires were too stupid to tell your 13th man and Bo Derek imitator to get off the ground, then that isn’t your fault.