The Fuck You Hundred

December 18, 2021

There are many different kinds of hundred.

The attritional, the lucky, the captain’s, the rearguard, the gritty, the match winning, the match saving, the effortless, and heaps more.

You can add a new one to the list, “the fuck you hundred”.

That is what Ricky Ponting makes. They are a middle finger to any doubters he has, to the opposition if they get on his nerves, and to the media who is questioning his boys.

It is his way of screaming fuck you; an artist uses his brush, a singer uses his throat and Ricky uses the bat.

It comes from pure frustration and anger, but usually look good to those who watch.

They are also so predictable.

Australia know they need something special in India, and everyone knows Ponting struggles there, fuck you hundred.

Australia puts in their worst performance for a long time at Perth against the saffas, the next test in Melbourne Ponting hits another fuck you to try and drag his team out of the shit.

Australia loses to India in Perth and Ponting pulls out the fuck you hundred for Adelaide.

Ricky hasn’t hit 2 hundreds in a series since the last Ashes (06/07 not 05, incase you were confused), his form in that time has been patchy.

The one constant is him making hundreds that are just determined and angry, there is a malice behind them, fuck everyone who doesn’t believe in my team.

They are scowling hundreds, aggressive hundreds, and doggedly determined.

And if you think I am reading too much into it, check the series that he hasn’t made a hundred in of recent times. None against New Zealand, Australia won, none against South Africa away, Australia won.

Both of those tours went smoothly, but if Australia is losing, looking like losing, or something pisses Ponting off, the Fuck you comes out.

They don’t always look the same, the hundreds in Melbourne and Adelaide were a middle finger to the world, and the knocks in Bangalore and Cardiff were of a man who wasn’t going out until his job was done.

From the moment Ricky came to the wicket he looked like he was going to get a country, he had the fuck you feeling in him, and he wanted to give it to the English.

It seems that Ricky needs that anger to fire him up these days.

If Australia goes on to win these Ashes comfortably it wouldn’t surprise me if Ponting didn’t make another ton.

His days of being a run machine are behind him, but he still has a few more fuck you innings in him.