A hole in the hauritz

December 21, 2021

Imagine you were using a glass to transport water, I don’t know why you are transporting water, maybe your dog is on fire.

The problem with the glass is that you can’t get much water in it, if you drop the glass it will break, and your hands are slippery from all the water. This is your 5th glass already, having smashed the others.

You decide there must be a better way, so you go looking for a bucket.

There are no adequate buckets, but there is one that has no handle, a crack in the side, and a hole in the bottom.

Comparing the shitty bucket to the debris of broken glasses you decide this is a better option than the glass.

Running back and forth with this bucket soon proves fruitless, the crack gets bigger because it has no handle and the hole leaks plenty of water so that you have virtually none upon arrival.

Your dog is now burnt to death.

So why would you even think about using Nathan Hauritz in the first test?

He might be a container, but he isn’t containing shit.

Stuart Clark, Andrew McDonald or Ben Hilfenhaus might not be completely suited to the conditions, but they will do a better job than Hauritz.

At the moment it is hard to see what Hauritz is actually doing.

He never looks like he is trying to get wickets, yet he never really bowls to keep the scoreboard tight.

Ponting puts the field out and then brings them back in; a never-ending cyclical game plan that no one understands.

If there was a burning dog in front of Ponting surely he would be better to piss on it than use this useless bucket.

Australia, you must say no to Hauritz.