December 22, 2021

In order for any ex ICL player to be let back into proper cricket, they have to go through a few ceremonial activities.

They shall be flogged by ex test players who are currently finding it tough to make ends meet.

Players must bathe themselves in the urine of the pure, the under 23 IPL players.

All hairs must be plucked from their bodies, one by one, in a process that should take 5 days.

They shall have cheese graters taken over their testicles by the best Italian chefs in India.

Their nipples shall be cut off with butter knives, and sewn back on by excitable teenage girls.

They shall have to spend one hour with Navjot Siidhu.

Players will have to impale themselves on bat cones, and then switch bat cones with the person to their right.

Each player must cook and eat their faeces.

And then to finish it off, the players have to grovel at the feet of Lalit Modi until he thinks they have learned their lesson.

I know what you are thinking, I can’t wait to see this.

Well luckily for you Zee TV are showing it, all they need to do is kill off the first born child of each employee and Lalit will allow them full access