Musical cricket things

December 21, 2021

Andy Bull at the Guardian is doing a special today on music and cricket, because of the much anticipated release of The Duckworth Lewis method’s album.

I don’t want to talk too much about DLM’s album, as I might be giving you some rarer than rare insights on them soon, but if you can’t wait, you can listen to some tracks here.

Andy Bull’s list is not bad, even having “Again and Again” by roots manuva in it.

But it misses one key song, ‘The parables of Glenn McGrath’s hair cut”.

The band is TISM, whom a great deal of my readers between the age of 25 & 40 from Australia will know, but few others will have heard of.

And the Lyrics are very little about Glenn McGrath and cricket, and yet completley about Glenn McGrath and cricket.

My mate Roger got a girl pregnant when he was fourteen.

He was so shit scared he told me, and when he said that her dad was a cop I thought he was joking.

I told him he’s got to tell someone, and so he went and told a teacher, and the girl eventually got an abortion.

He was fucking shitting himself, let me tell you, but six months later he was fucking around like always.

Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath

“You betta watch it” I thought to myself.

But Roger was pretty fucking sure of himself. He was the guy who first brought a block of hash to a party.

Because I was his friend I was there when he first showed it to people, and we all went down the backyard and he rolled a joint.

Where did he get it from? My parents would have killed me if they knew.

I thought we’d all turn into junkies or something if we had too much.

The last time I saw Roger was last year at the Boxing Day test. He’d turned into such a fat, normal, yobbo cunt.

“The wife nearly didn’t let me out today” he said, and he did all that chanting yobs do, like “Ooh, Aahh, Glenn McGrath”.

“It got you in the end” I thought to myself, as I looked at Roger.

“Life got you in the end, pal. You were such a cocky, successful winner when we were 16, but now you’re just another sad fat prick sitting in the M.C.G high-fiving in self-congratulation, as if its you that had the skill and determination to play for Australia”.

Its the cunts with the bad haircuts that you’ve got to watch out for.

There’s never been a popular teenager yet who’s done rat’s with their life. Its the fucking dorks that give it a real go. Glenn McGrath got =5 for 50 that day.

For those who want to know abot TISM (This is serious Mum) you can read more here.

I must admit that TISM are a huge influence on me, probably more so than almost every writer.

You can see and here some of their work here.