In bed with Shahid Afridi

December 18, 2021

Yes this post contains satirical penetration and other sex stuff. Not for kids, honest catholic priests or politicians courting the religious right vote. Part of the ‘in bed with‘ series.

It’s been a big night. Drinks, drugs, making out with casual strangers, but all night I’ve had eye contact with a cool looking motherfucker in the corner. Eventually he makes his way over to me, he doesn’t say anything he just grabs my hand and takes me outside into a cab.

The cab starts moving the minute I get in it and so does he, I’m naked straight away. There isn’t a part of my body that he isn’t pleasuring, and all at once. Fuck. Oh my god he is eating me out and licking my nipple at the same time. Is that possible how many people are in the car. Oh my. Is that a ferret? Praise be to… This has to be like 4 people, fucken hell that must be a vibrator, is the cab driver joining in. where am I, wow. Oh my, that is amazing, oh I’m cumming, seriously that is a ferret. Every orifice is full, how can that even be? Is that a frozen banana being held by a monkey? OW, ohhhh, cumming again. Oh and again. Shitting hell. That is a midget in the corner with a video camera? Oh that’s good, oh really good, oh who cares what is going on this is the best fuck I have ever….

And he’s gone.

Midway through an orgasm.


The taxi has all the signs of sexual carnage in it you could imagine. The driver is gone, and I look out the window, I am only around the block from the club.

Is that right?

I would have sworn we had gone for much longer.

I think that was great, I’m just not sure what happened, or what to do with the rest of the night.