December 18, 2021

The 10 Virendandments – Sehwag’s Revelation in the Old Testament (Wisden).

They were given directly by Sehwag to the people of India at
Chidambaram Stadium after He had delivered them from Boredom in Chennai:

“And Sehwag spoke all these words, saying: ‘I am the opening batsmen, your God…

ONE: ‘You shall have no other gods before Me, except Sachin and maybe Sunil.’

TWO: ‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Infact don’t carve anything that is not wide outside off stump.’

THREE: ‘You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, so if you stub your toe, try to not say Oh Sehwag.’

FOUR: ‘Remember the 3rd day, the pitch is often at it’s best.’

FIVE: ‘Honor your father and your mother, and your sponsors.’

SIX: ‘You shall not murder, exceptions made for opening bowlers, spinners and probots.’

SEVEN: ‘You shall not commit quick singles.’

EIGHT: ‘You shall not be worrying about playing and missing.’

NINE: ‘You shall not bear false witness against the BCCi.’

TEN: ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, but if he bowls a wide half volley hit it like it stole your donkey or ox.’

If you want me to stay away from your donkey or ox, you can do so by commenting here and sending my blog to the wisden cricketer, where there is no talk of of donkeys.… We constantly get sodomized down the legside