cricket with balls

No man can waddle like Ravi Rampaul.  His hips are seductive weapons he uses to distract batsmen as he comes in to bowl his medium fast occasional swingers.  Prone to overs of such ineptitude that even Morne Morkel feels sorry for him.  Then he gets it right, and you can sort of see why he keeps getting picked.  Apparently he was once a batsman.  This is mentioned during his many innings of looking like shit, but even more so in the odd innings where he does make runs. If Ravi was a maths equation, I wouldn’t be able to solve him.

Plays the cut shot like he was born to be a test cricketer.  Plays the rest like he won a raffle to be a test cricketer for the day.  If you wanted a replacement for Jeff Dujon, and you could only afford to buy one at Target, Ramdin is your man.  Is a tough little fella who obviously has a brain, but he just isn’t that good at the keeping or batting business.  Has a poorer name that Chadwick Walton.  Seems to be desperate to stay on as an International cricketer, which is not a very West Indian trait these days. Is mostly famous for being the one West Indian player no one can really remember.

ESPN have been showing the T20 Caribbean tournament.  And I haven’t been so entertained by a cricket tournament since the ICL.

I’ve been watching so much of it, late at night, just coming in and out of it, not watching entire games.  I loves it.

The final was on the other night, I taped it, but when I looked at ESPN had taped some random football match instead.

But luckily for me, ESPN replay every sporting event hundreds of times, so I caught the second innings of the final after Barbados made 135.

The second innings started brilliantly.

First ball Dwayne Smith ran past a ball I assume he would usually stop even if he was on sedatives.

Second ball Chattergoon forget to get back into his crease when a ball was hit straight to a fielder, and could have been run out.

Third ball was a wide.

This is just the sort of madness I’ve noticed in this tournament.  There is brillainace as well, but even that seems very close to madness.

Later on Sulieman Benn was hit when bowling by Sarwan.  It could have happened in any game, I assume most batsmen have tried to hit Benn, but Sarwan actually smacked him in the shoulder, the ball rebounded in the air and almost cleared the 30 metre circle.

In another game I saw Carlos Morris, the Barbados’ keeper, bat without a helmet to a quick.  Apparently he always does.  He was caught on the long on boundary for a golden duck, the ball was a bouncer.  Even the catch wasn’t ordinary, a Voges/Oram boundary rope special.

If you don’t believe me that this was an awesome tournament, Rawl Lewis played in it.  I rest my case.

The games were just filled with entertainment, like a fielder trying to save a ball but instead smacking it into his face and a game where 4 catches were dropped in 5 overs.

The final certainly lived up to the rest of the tournament.

Guyana made an absolute ass of the chase.  Benn and Smith were very good with the ball, but Guyana really helped by gifting wickets all the time.

Eventually Guyana needed 26 runs from 11 balls with 1 wicket in hand.

And that is when the Foo blew in.

Jonathan Foo smacked a huge six over mid off.

Then got dropped at deep mid wicket, had it been taken, Barbados win everything, instead some crazy fucker didn’t just drop it, but almost punched it for another six.

The next over Foo, who looked about 12, smacked two fours to start the over, and then pretty much let the number 11 finish it all off.

Guyana needed two off two, and the wonderfully named Bishoo squirted one to cover, there was probably only one there, but Sulieman Benn fumbled it, and then booted it away, and they took two.

Bishoo and Foo had done it.

Foo finishing with 42 off 17.

Next season I will do anything I can to not to miss one of these games.

By the power of Foo, I swear.

As made by Ceci.

You’ve got to admire Sulieman Benn. Well I do.

Some people get in trouble, like say a Pub Brawl in Sydney, and then they fix all their problems, get on the straight and narrow and eventually become captains of their side.

Benn seems hell bent on never going straight.

He may not even be capable of it.

No player has the ability to get himself into his shit without drinking, drugging or womaning like Benn.

I wrote this for cricinfo a couple of days back:

“No one can annoy like Benn. Batsmen, umpires and his own captain are the usual subjects. In the history of cricket there have been few players who can get under the skin of players on both sides so brilliantly. But this is a skill. Skills need time, patience and hard work. While being the annoying spinner can work – Paul Harris has made a career from it – Benn can actually bowl. If he spent all the time he usually uses on annoying people on bowling, wow, the man could be a cult hero spin-bowling god, the Manute Bol of finger spin. And he wouldn’t get sent off the field by his captain as much.”

His career highlights so far:

At least two tripping incidents.

Mouthing off to every opposition player.

Mouthing off to most players on his own team.

Getting in scrapes with Johnson and Haddin that lead to a suspension.

Being thrown off the field by his own captain.

And getting spat at by Dale Steyn.

That is not bad for a guy who has played 50 international matches.

Nathan Hauritz played that many before anyone knew he was alive.

Now Benn has been suspended again.

This time for going into the South African changeroom to continue the fight he had been having with Steyn throughout the whole game that Steyn tried to end with the spit.

He has stayed true to himself.

I have nothing but admiration for the man.

Respect.