cricket with balls

In a world of hate, pain and Justin Bieber, it is good to know there is someone as pure as Sachin Tendulkar.

He is the moral compass of the world, and without him we would be nothing but angry animals flinging faeces at each other.

This is how twitter used to be, not now, because by clicking @sachin_rt you can be saved by the man himself.

So far Sachin’s twitter form has been patchy.

This photo is clearly the highlight.

News of Sachin has spread fast, he is gaining new followers at the rate of 1000 every second, or more, it was changing so fast I couldn’t do the numbers.

And people can’t wait to talk to their man:

“u rock man… just want to get ur dedication level.. we can’t even think of indian cricket without u !!!”

“@cubicile_blues: Twitter does not need to verify @sachin_rt. @sachin_rt has just verified that this is the real Twitter”

“the peoples following rate is amazing and count increases each and every sec. Ur the God and u prove it Sachin!! Lov u!!!”

“If nothing else, @sachin_rt brought many zombie tweeter users to life.”

“@Sidin: Dear @sachin_rt, is it true you once said Sreesanth is the best bowler you’ve ever faced? Thanks.”

“Finally the God of Cricket is on Twitter…..”

“The only record left for him 2 break is max number of followers:-)”

“IT IS A GR8 DAY.. THE GOD OF CRICKET ON TWITTER ..NW U WL B MORE CLOSE TO US THE COMMON PPL OF INDIA WHO LOOK AT YOU AS A GR8 MAN”

“Please @sachin_rt quit twitter. I dont want you to follow @LalitKModi”.

People are already hoping that Sachin gets more followers than Ashton Kutcher, but I think that would be mean. Kutcher is the Charles Coventry of Hollywood, at least leave him with something, Sachin, well something other than Demi Moore.

If you feel the need to stalk players on twitter here is a list I created earlier. Or you can stalk me.

Twitter has some new thing called lists.

So I made a list of cricketers who tweet.

There is only 23 so far.

If anyone of you have any more, please make sure they are real, send them through to me.

There is also a list of cricket writers.

I don’t know about you, but before the Paris Hilton sex tape, I really didn’t know who she was.

The name was familiar, but I didn’t know who she was, what she did, why I knew her name, or what she looked like naked and green.

I knew of Tim Bresnan before he started tweeting, but I knew little of him, the average English cricket fan probably knew nothing of him.

Then he calls a bloke a KNOB, some groundbreaking website breaks the story, it ends up all over the news, he gets in trouble with Andy Flower, then he comes in because Stuart Broad has a sore bum.

He suddenly has a profile.

Not a great profile, but people suddenly start watching what he is doing.

Before hand he wasn’t doing much, so there wasn’t much to watch.

But now he is in the headlines (barely) and people know a little more about his swearing habits and a penchant for mother jokes this was the most important game of his career.

He could have fucked it up.

The excuses where there, Bumble and Bhogle couldn’t stop mentioning twitter, England were mid-collapse and this was a semi final of a semi-important tournament.

Instead the big fella* stood up.

While Shane Watson came at him hard, Tim was good.

From there on in he and Wright put together an innings saving partnership.  It wasn’t enough, but his top order didn’t deserve to be saved.

The innings was streaky at times and just damn lucky at others, but a top effort.

Making 80 batting at 8 in a one dayer is a good enough for me any time, but with all the shit going on his head, the papers, from the team management, the commentary box, and on twitter, I think the fella deserves some credit.

Top cricket, U KNOB.

Let us hope for your sake that you go on to do better than the cricket equivalent of House of Wax.

*By big fella I am not referring to Tim’s frame, but his presence.

Was going to do a QBQ (OBO) on here today, and then i thought, fuck it. There will be boring bits in the middle. I can’t be bothered.

So if you want to catch up with my clayton’s commentary come to twitter.

I’ll try not to call any of you KNOBs.

Poor Tim.

Bloke photo shops him looking like Jonah Hill, and Tim says fuck and calls him a KNOB.

Fair enough.

Probably not the sort of behaviour the ECB wants from their cricketers, but it was no worse than what an English cricketer said next to a camera at the end of the win against South Africa.

Swearing on TV is bad, but can be quickly forgotten, and doesn’t even always need an apology.

How many times have we seen a cricketer play and miss and then heard a muffled, “fuck”, from stump cam.

Some of us can lip read too, not every word, but I am pretty sure Freddie and Siddle broke some sort of records for how many times the word fuck was used in one spell this year.

I am not sure that putting knob and fuck in even constitutes a expletive-laden rant.

I found this on twitter:

“Stop fucking yelling into your shitty phone you dumb fucken asshole. People can fucken hear you if you talk normally you wanker.”

That is laden.

Before I broke the exclusive (apparently that doesn’t get you a new car or a latte maker) I wondered if I was doing the right thing.

By airing the story you mean that future cricketers on twitter will be on a short leash, if at all, and that is less fun.

But then I thought it was funny, and funny trumps all.

I would like to say I am angry at the Daily Mail though, not because I wasn’t given proper credit for breaking this all important story, but for **** the word knob.

Remember when the Times featured my site, but wrote bastards as b*******.

**** Must stop.