cricket with balls

Twitter has some new thing called lists.

So I made a list of cricketers who tweet.

There is only 23 so far.

If anyone of you have any more, please make sure they are real, send them through to me.

There is also a list of cricket writers.

I don’t know about you, but before the Paris Hilton sex tape, I really didn’t know who she was.

The name was familiar, but I didn’t know who she was, what she did, why I knew her name, or what she looked like naked and green.

I knew of Tim Bresnan before he started tweeting, but I knew little of him, the average English cricket fan probably knew nothing of him.

Then he calls a bloke a KNOB, some groundbreaking website breaks the story, it ends up all over the news, he gets in trouble with Andy Flower, then he comes in because Stuart Broad has a sore bum.

He suddenly has a profile.

Not a great profile, but people suddenly start watching what he is doing.

Before hand he wasn’t doing much, so there wasn’t much to watch.

But now he is in the headlines (barely) and people know a little more about his swearing habits and a penchant for mother jokes this was the most important game of his career.

He could have fucked it up.

The excuses where there, Bumble and Bhogle couldn’t stop mentioning twitter, England were mid-collapse and this was a semi final of a semi-important tournament.

Instead the big fella* stood up.

While Shane Watson came at him hard, Tim was good.

From there on in he and Wright put together an innings saving partnership.  It wasn’t enough, but his top order didn’t deserve to be saved.

The innings was streaky at times and just damn lucky at others, but a top effort.

Making 80 batting at 8 in a one dayer is a good enough for me any time, but with all the shit going on his head, the papers, from the team management, the commentary box, and on twitter, I think the fella deserves some credit.

Top cricket, U KNOB.

Let us hope for your sake that you go on to do better than the cricket equivalent of House of Wax.

*By big fella I am not referring to Tim’s frame, but his presence.

Was going to do a QBQ (OBO) on here today, and then i thought, fuck it. There will be boring bits in the middle. I can’t be bothered.

So if you want to catch up with my clayton’s commentary come to twitter.

I’ll try not to call any of you KNOBs.

Poor Tim.

Bloke photo shops him looking like Jonah Hill, and Tim says fuck and calls him a KNOB.

Fair enough.

Probably not the sort of behaviour the ECB wants from their cricketers, but it was no worse than what an English cricketer said next to a camera at the end of the win against South Africa.

Swearing on TV is bad, but can be quickly forgotten, and doesn’t even always need an apology.

How many times have we seen a cricketer play and miss and then heard a muffled, “fuck”, from stump cam.

Some of us can lip read too, not every word, but I am pretty sure Freddie and Siddle broke some sort of records for how many times the word fuck was used in one spell this year.

I am not sure that putting knob and fuck in even constitutes a expletive-laden rant.

I found this on twitter:

“Stop fucking yelling into your shitty phone you dumb fucken asshole. People can fucken hear you if you talk normally you wanker.”

That is laden.

Before I broke the exclusive (apparently that doesn’t get you a new car or a latte maker) I wondered if I was doing the right thing.

By airing the story you mean that future cricketers on twitter will be on a short leash, if at all, and that is less fun.

But then I thought it was funny, and funny trumps all.

I would like to say I am angry at the Daily Mail though, not because I wasn’t given proper credit for breaking this all important story, but for **** the word knob.

Remember when the Times featured my site, but wrote bastards as b*******.

**** Must stop.

I was on twitter for the end of Australia’s game against Pakistan.

Before that I hardly watched the game.

It was boring, and neither team was trying that hard.

Then the game got hot. Very hot.

Australia have done well to get this down to run a ball. #cricket Naved has gone at least 12 balls without a run off him.19 minutes ago from Tweetie

@iainobrien Doosras from Ajmal and unplayable everythings from Naved, Gul isn’t needed yet.18 minutes ago from Tweetie in reply to iainobrien

Lee comes down the wicket to Ajmal, obviously picked the doosra. Fucken hell. #cricket18 minutes ago from Tweetie

Great over for Australia, 10 off 12 needed now. Nathan will finish this up in 2 hits… #cricket16 minutes ago from Tweetie

Lee sends a text to Ajmal telling him he is coming down the wicket, lucky very lucky. #cricket16 minutes ago from Tweetie

Easy does it. #NATHANHAURITZISGOD14 minutes ago from Tweetie

No leg slip? #cricket12 minutes ago from Tweetie

Naved gets smashed that over, 6 off it. #cricket11 minutes ago from Tweetie

Gul is brought on. All he needs to do is pretend he is playing Kiwis and India are through. #cricket9 minutes ago from Tweetie

Good clip off the pads, but straight to midwicket. #cricket8 minutes ago from Tweetie

Umar finds the yorker. With reverse. Lee finds a single behind his back. #cricket8 minutes ago from Tweetie

Hauritz gets a good length, but can only bunt it back to Gul. 3 from 3. Reverse paddle? #cricket7 minutes ago from Tweetie

Hauritz almost gets it through midwicket, but Misbah throws his zimmer frame and saves it. #cricket 2 from 2 6 minutes ago from Tweetie

They only need one run my ass Pollock, we don’t do ties. Oh. #cricket5 minutes ago from Tweetie

Lee Smashes that to mid on, great fielding keeps it to one. Lee knows that is enough. But is it? Probably. #cricket4 minutes ago from Tweetie

Australia win the game with a bye. They smashed that bye. #cricket #hauritzisgod3 minutes ago from Tweetie

That was the Cardiff test of ODIs, boring as batshit for so long, and then, wait on, this is awesome. Oh shit… #cricket2 minutes ago from Tweetie

I need a piss. #cricketless than 5 seconds ago from Tweetie