Ricky Ponting

 

Let’s start at the top. Ponting runs the risk of becoming the first captain to lose the Ashes twice, and it is a very real risk of that happening. History shows that Ponting’s Aussies do not take defeat likely – witness their thrashings of both England and South Africa after losing to them – but this also shows that they are intent on learning things the hard way. If you can only outsmart Graeme Smith by losing to him, there’s something wrong somewhere in your brain.

 

There’s no doubt that Ponting the Batsman has improved over the last four years, but Ponting the Captain does not seem to have moved on at all. He’s up against a leader more cerebral than either Smith* or Michael Vaughan and this time he doesn’t have a side full of experienced lieutenants to help him out. Moreover, he’s the only member of the Aussie top order who can be relied upon to make runs during this series; even for a scrapper like Ponting, that’s a heavy weight to bear on top of everything else.

 

Michael Clarke

 

Australia’s worst nightmare has to be that Ponting gets injured and Clarke takes over the captaincy. If ever a player failed to live up to his early promise, it’s this guy. The ‘Pup’ nickname hangs around his neck like a leaden dog tag and, no matter how many runs he scores, he never seems to be truly comfortable at the crease. His increasingly anodyne left arm spin means that he cannot truly be regarded as a bowling option in Test cricket. As the changing hairstyles show, he seems to be a man still trying to find his role within the side.

 

Phillip Hughes

 

Burst onto the scene against a South African side who had hardly seen any footage of him and scored plenty of runs against an attack somewhat lacking in either brains or guile. Even so, he showed some weakness against the rising ball bowled from around the wicket and moving into him. England’s attack might not be as pacy as the South Africans’, but Broad and Anderson certainly have more wit about their bowling than Steyn, Nel and Ntini and Flintoff specialises in the sort of ball Hughes has trouble with.

 

Moreover, whilst he has been scoring a truckload of runs whilst playing for Middlesex, he will find an English Test attack in English conditions a very different proposition to a popgun Division Two one, especially as he will have provided hours of footage for England to analyse. Indeed, a conspiracy theorist might suggest that county attacks had been told to keep him at the crease for as long as possible.

 

Simon Katich

 

The most surprising survivor of the 2005 side, Katich reinvented himself as an attacking opening bat to win back his place in the side. The suspicion remains that the technical defects exploited by England four years ago remain and will be even more exposed against the new ball than the old one. The fact that his famously volcanic temper seems to have worsened over the intervening four years won’t have helped and the stress of an Ashes series is likely to provoke at least one flashpoint during the summer. That his left arm wrist spin is now an even more effective weapon could actually act against the Aussies, as the lack of other spin bowling options could force them to retain him even if he does hit a bad run of form.

 

Mike Hussey

 

Mr Cricket is in the worst run of form of his career. Whilst he could conceivably come out of it before the Ashes begin, it is hard to see how five months with no first class cricket at all will assist. His performances against South Africa this winter suggest that he may have lost his nerve against quality fast bowling.

 

Marcus North

 

As well as having to deal with the tensions of a first Ashes series, North now has to prove that he is worthy of the number six spot over and above the missing Andrew Symonds. Has plenty of experience of English conditions, but again has only played in the second division here. Another who will probably rely upon his bowling to retain his place.

 

Andrew McDonald

 

Probably the luckiest man to be on this tour. Has yet to convince anyone other than the Aussie selectors that he is Test class. As a rule, gingers aren’t.

 

Shane Watson

 

Has shown occasional flashes of being able to play at this level. Problem is that, any time he hits a good vein of form, he gets injured. It is as if there is some kind of horrendous curse on the man. When asked why he had been selected, Andrew Hilditch didn’t seem to know. Which doesn’t exactly bode well.

 

Brad Haddin

 

Iron gloves, dubious morals and has only had one decent run of scores at Test level. Basically, not Adam Gilchrist on so many levels. Even allowing for the fact that he had a hard act to follow, is not likely to frighten any international attack and batsmen will always feel comfortable with him standing up to the stumps.

 

Graham Manou

 

Not even Brad Haddin.

 

Mitchell Johnson

 

Frustratingly inconsistent, he has the ability to damage any batting order with the ball and demoralise bowling attacks with his late order hitting. However, still seems equally likely to get carted around the park with the ball and to be dismissed cheaply. The latter calls into question his credentials as a Test match number eight. Basically, until he learns some self control, he’s not going to be the threat he should be.

 

Brett Lee

 

Will the real Brett Lee please stand up. He seemed to be rising to the challenge of leading the attack in place of McGrath, even during the 2005 Ashes. But once Pigeon was gone for good, he lost form, got injured and the cycle just seemed to repeat itself. His overall statistics haven’t altered much, but it is hard to see how he is going to be the same player that he was four years ago after so much time away from the game.

 

Peter Siddle

 

His record against South Africa cannot be ignored, but neither the fact that the bulk of his Test wickets have come in hot, dry conditions. Will only be a serious contender on this tour if the summer is unusually warm, especially as he has never played in England before.

 

Stuart Clark

 

Like Lee, coming back from a serious injury. Hard, therefore, to see him starting in the Cardiff Test, which will then deprive Australia of their most potent bowling threat in English conditions.

 

Nathan Hauritz

 

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa

 

 

 

In short. The Aussies aren’t going to win the Ashes, England are going to have to lose them.

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Australia has had real trouble with filling the massive shoes of Brett Geeves.

Brett Lee was overlooked.

Stuart Clark couldn’t make it on time.

So now the angry man harwood is going over.

Will Australia ever recover from the hole Geeves has created.

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Australia had decided to overlook the man training with him, Brett Lee, and gone for Stuart Clark.

Someone who wasn’t even selected for the middle eastern jaunt against Pakistan.

I tried to think long and hard about what this means, but then i got a headache and gave up.

Stuart Clark was surprised too, he had to apply for a new passport, as his other one was in the hands of the british consulate waiting for his Visa to play for Kent.

Brett Lee always keeps his passport with him.

Always.

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Stuart Clark is going to get eased back into competitive cricket with a stint down at Canterbury.

It was nice of Kent, the club who hates helping South Africa, has decided to help out Australia for its Ashes warm ups.

With no first class cricket in Australia, there would have been no way for Clark to get his groove on.

But a nice little trundle with a division 2 team is just the ticket.

Thanks Kent.

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With all the talk about killer ankles in the South African dressing room, everyone forgot about Stuart Clark’s prosthetic elbow.

Unfortunately the warranty has expired.

And Stuart Clark’s test career may be over.

That is the bad news.

The good news is that Peter Sizzle is in Perth, and looks like he is about to play for his country, again.

Now all that talk about South Africa’s amazing pace attack of pure pace, you know the one that didn’t do much in England, doesn’t mean much, as Australia also has three bowlers who have been clocked at over 150 clicks.

I am sure that won’t stop the press juggernaut that seems enamoured with the saffa quicks.

It’s almost as if they missed the entire English summer in which the saffa quicks were just good.

Now Australia have 3 proper quicks, and the saffas have 3 proper quicks.

Australia has Krazy Krejza, and South Africa has the statistical anomaly of Paul Harris, not to mention Roy and the Eunuch Kallis.

Stuart Clark won’t be happy with the fact there is a certain synchronicity about the attacks.

He would prefer to play.

And maybe one day he will.

But I doubt it.

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