Part of the reason I started on this ridiculous question-answering thing is because I felt like I was in a rut.

Writing is like batting or cleaning your teeth; some times you do it better than others.

I thought the question thing might help.

And the weirdest thing has happened, I found out that not only do I like Simon Katich now; I find his whole story inspiring.

I was just answering this question, and then I looked at my answer; it shocked me.

I found Katich inspiring? Me?

The man who started calling him the Krab.

Looking at what Katich has done makes it hard to not admire him.

He has overcome being Western Australian, having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, his technique, came back from oblivion and choking a golden child to become the most consistent test player Australia has at the moment.

Based on all that he does inspire me.

Therein lies the problem.

I enjoyed not knowing I like him.

It was something I had was holding onto and enjoying.

George Lucas never really got life, hate doesn’t lead to the dark side, it leads to a healthy life.

When Katich could be mercilessly bagged I was a happy man, now I might feel guilty and stop instead.

This question thing is to blame, so I won’t be answering any more questions, somethings are better off unknown.

From now on I will push through my bad writing form like the krab does when at the crease.

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The Allan Border Medal is pretty new. Australia have been pretty handy since 2000 the list of players who have won the award is tasty.

McGrath, Waugh, Hayden, Gilchrist, and Ponting.

There is a name missing, SK Warne.

Warne probably would have won one had he played one-day cricket between 03 and 07. In 06 he was Australia’s best test cricketer and won an award that said that, but not the AB. Because the point system is allocated for all international games for the Allan Border medal, Ricky Ponting won was the winner that year.

I don’t agree with the system, the best test player should win the major award, even if that is Collin Miller.

This year the best test player was Simon the Krab Katich.

He was Australia’s most consistent player in the voting period. By last summer he had turned from an embarrassing eyesore to Australia’s best batting eyesore, and he kept that up for the year.

The fact that he won the award does tell the story of Australian cricket in 09. A recycled player well into his cricket twilight averaged 48 with the bat and was Australia’s best test player.

Australia’s best player in all forms of the game was Shane Watson. In one day cricket he was destructive with the bat and ok with the ball. In test cricket he was savage with the bat and handy with the ball.

Other than his occasional moments of monumental stupidity, which we all have (I once shaved my head but left my fringe), he has been a force.

It hasn’t always been pretty, during the year he has traded metrosexual insults with Jimmy Anderson, made missing a test hundred an artform, abused Gayle like a 3 year old would, and stalked Phil Hughes spot like a CIA assassin.

But the big bastard is the best-performed Australian cricketer in all 3 formats of the game (had he played in more tests he probably would have won the test award too).

They give you the medal for that sort of hi-jinx.

He deserves it, doesn’t mean the whole world will suddenly warm to him.

Ofcourse the real winner of the night was Haley Rich Bracken (whose name I had to look up when writing this) for wearing a mermaid costume that should help her singing career.

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Yesterday’s face saving innings (from an Australian, if not a personal perspective) has had a few people wondering if Clarke is one of the best batsmen in the world today.

Hmmmmm.

Yesterday’s ton was his 12th in 81 innings, a strike rate of one every 6.75 innings.

In the current series, that puts him behind Ponting (exactly 1:6), but ahead of both Katich and Mr Cricket. But it also puts him behind Strauss (1:6.61) and Pietersen (1:6.06). Which, for my money, makes him no better than 5th in the world and probably not even in the top ten.Unfortunately for Australia, he’s currently their only batsman in any kind of consistent form and yet he’s still rubbish against the moving ball. If one thing emphasises Australia’s struggles in this series, it is that.

(Katich and Hussey, incidentally, have very similar records. One lost his place and fought and fought til he won it back; the other seems undroppable no matter how bad his form. Makes you wonder who deserves that Mr Cricket title more, doesn’t it?)

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Ricky Ponting

 

Let’s start at the top. Ponting runs the risk of becoming the first captain to lose the Ashes twice, and it is a very real risk of that happening. History shows that Ponting’s Aussies do not take defeat likely – witness their thrashings of both England and South Africa after losing to them – but this also shows that they are intent on learning things the hard way. If you can only outsmart Graeme Smith by losing to him, there’s something wrong somewhere in your brain.

 

There’s no doubt that Ponting the Batsman has improved over the last four years, but Ponting the Captain does not seem to have moved on at all. He’s up against a leader more cerebral than either Smith* or Michael Vaughan and this time he doesn’t have a side full of experienced lieutenants to help him out. Moreover, he’s the only member of the Aussie top order who can be relied upon to make runs during this series; even for a scrapper like Ponting, that’s a heavy weight to bear on top of everything else.

 

Michael Clarke

 

Australia’s worst nightmare has to be that Ponting gets injured and Clarke takes over the captaincy. If ever a player failed to live up to his early promise, it’s this guy. The ‘Pup’ nickname hangs around his neck like a leaden dog tag and, no matter how many runs he scores, he never seems to be truly comfortable at the crease. His increasingly anodyne left arm spin means that he cannot truly be regarded as a bowling option in Test cricket. As the changing hairstyles show, he seems to be a man still trying to find his role within the side.

 

Phillip Hughes

 

Burst onto the scene against a South African side who had hardly seen any footage of him and scored plenty of runs against an attack somewhat lacking in either brains or guile. Even so, he showed some weakness against the rising ball bowled from around the wicket and moving into him. England’s attack might not be as pacy as the South Africans’, but Broad and Anderson certainly have more wit about their bowling than Steyn, Nel and Ntini and Flintoff specialises in the sort of ball Hughes has trouble with.

 

Moreover, whilst he has been scoring a truckload of runs whilst playing for Middlesex, he will find an English Test attack in English conditions a very different proposition to a popgun Division Two one, especially as he will have provided hours of footage for England to analyse. Indeed, a conspiracy theorist might suggest that county attacks had been told to keep him at the crease for as long as possible.

 

Simon Katich

 

The most surprising survivor of the 2005 side, Katich reinvented himself as an attacking opening bat to win back his place in the side. The suspicion remains that the technical defects exploited by England four years ago remain and will be even more exposed against the new ball than the old one. The fact that his famously volcanic temper seems to have worsened over the intervening four years won’t have helped and the stress of an Ashes series is likely to provoke at least one flashpoint during the summer. That his left arm wrist spin is now an even more effective weapon could actually act against the Aussies, as the lack of other spin bowling options could force them to retain him even if he does hit a bad run of form.

 

Mike Hussey

 

Mr Cricket is in the worst run of form of his career. Whilst he could conceivably come out of it before the Ashes begin, it is hard to see how five months with no first class cricket at all will assist. His performances against South Africa this winter suggest that he may have lost his nerve against quality fast bowling.

 

Marcus North

 

As well as having to deal with the tensions of a first Ashes series, North now has to prove that he is worthy of the number six spot over and above the missing Andrew Symonds. Has plenty of experience of English conditions, but again has only played in the second division here. Another who will probably rely upon his bowling to retain his place.

 

Andrew McDonald

 

Probably the luckiest man to be on this tour. Has yet to convince anyone other than the Aussie selectors that he is Test class. As a rule, gingers aren’t.

 

Shane Watson

 

Has shown occasional flashes of being able to play at this level. Problem is that, any time he hits a good vein of form, he gets injured. It is as if there is some kind of horrendous curse on the man. When asked why he had been selected, Andrew Hilditch didn’t seem to know. Which doesn’t exactly bode well.

 

Brad Haddin

 

Iron gloves, dubious morals and has only had one decent run of scores at Test level. Basically, not Adam Gilchrist on so many levels. Even allowing for the fact that he had a hard act to follow, is not likely to frighten any international attack and batsmen will always feel comfortable with him standing up to the stumps.

 

Graham Manou

 

Not even Brad Haddin.

 

Mitchell Johnson

 

Frustratingly inconsistent, he has the ability to damage any batting order with the ball and demoralise bowling attacks with his late order hitting. However, still seems equally likely to get carted around the park with the ball and to be dismissed cheaply. The latter calls into question his credentials as a Test match number eight. Basically, until he learns some self control, he’s not going to be the threat he should be.

 

Brett Lee

 

Will the real Brett Lee please stand up. He seemed to be rising to the challenge of leading the attack in place of McGrath, even during the 2005 Ashes. But once Pigeon was gone for good, he lost form, got injured and the cycle just seemed to repeat itself. His overall statistics haven’t altered much, but it is hard to see how he is going to be the same player that he was four years ago after so much time away from the game.

 

Peter Siddle

 

His record against South Africa cannot be ignored, but neither the fact that the bulk of his Test wickets have come in hot, dry conditions. Will only be a serious contender on this tour if the summer is unusually warm, especially as he has never played in England before.

 

Stuart Clark

 

Like Lee, coming back from a serious injury. Hard, therefore, to see him starting in the Cardiff Test, which will then deprive Australia of their most potent bowling threat in English conditions.

 

Nathan Hauritz

 

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa

 

 

 

In short. The Aussies aren’t going to win the Ashes, England are going to have to lose them.

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Just to clarify, the word current means players who haven’t retired from national duty.

Moises Henriques – Kolkata
38 runs @ av 19 sr 95 hs 30*
2 wickets @ 53 econ 8.79 bb 1/32

No one could quite understand how he kept getting a game, or the new ball. Is a very talented young kid, but maybe, just maybe, he should perform at the level below before he is given an opportunity.

David Hussey – Kolkata
98 runs @ av 24 sr 166 hs 43
0 wickets econ 8.5

Came late onto a ship that had already sunk, and decided to swing away. Looked in top touch, but kept getting out after amazing starts. Had a way better strike rate than McCullum or Gayle.

Lee Carseldine – Rajasthan
81 runs @ av 20.25 sr 119 hs 39
1 wicket @ 6 econ 6 bb 1/6

Came in first game and just smacked the ball everywhere when no one else could get the ball off the square, sadly that was about all he did in the tournament. Interestingly only bowled one over.

Rob Quiney - Rajasthan
103 runs @ av 14.7 sr 100.98 hs 51

Hit his first ball in the IPL for 6, then went out. Only really got two starts, and showed glimpses of his talent, but good spinners slowed him down or got him out. Hopefully he has learnt some good lessons, and will be able to score more consistently for Victoria.

Shane Harwood – Rajasthan
9 runs (no outs) sr 62 hs 6*
3 wickets @ 24.3 econ 7.30 bb 2/25

Only played 3 games, but did look dangerous. Rajasthan were more worried with making runs so he and Morne spent most of their time on the bench.

Luke Ronchi – Mumbai Indians
0 runs from 1 game

Sachin went into panic mode about half way through the tournament and threw Luke one game. He was run out for a duck.

Simon Katich – Punjab
145 runs @ av 16 sr 123 hs 50

His 50 was sensational, as good as I have seen the krab time the ball, but struggled other than that. 2020 really wasn’t made for him, and had his coach not been Moody, I doubt he would played too often.

George Bailey – Chennai
45 runs @ av 22.5 sr 115 hs 30

In both of his innings he looked in top form, and in both of them he ran himself out. The good news was smilin’ George looked completely at home at this level of cricket.

Andrew McDonald - Delhi
3 runs @ av 3 sr 75 hs 3
0 wickets (3 overs) econ 7.33 bb 0/22

Only played the one game when Delhi were resting players, and got a sensational Yorker from Anil Kumble.

Luke Pomersbach – Punjab
41 runs @ av 10.25 sr 83 hs 26

Looked out of touch, and small. When Luke is at his best he looks like a Hayden type bully, here he looked like a mouse imitating a flea.

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