cricket with balls

Until today, the one thing missing from Sachin Tendulkar’s extensive cricketing portfolio was a proper world record, one that counted for most people.

Ok, so he’s scored more Test tons than anyone else. On the other hand, not one of those 47 hundreds has seen him pass 250. Granted, neither did Border or Waugh, but neither of them aspired to be regarded as the greatest Test batsman of all time.

And when you think of the greatest ODI batsmen of all time, you probably think of the power hitters, the Richardses, Jayasurias and Gilchrists of this world. But not the man who now holds that elusive record for a highest score – and in doing so made the first double hundred in ODI history, too. That latter point is no mean feat – there have been over a thousand more ODIs than Test matches, so it has taken almost as long for someone to make a 200 in ODI cricket as it took someone to make a 400 in the longest form of the game.

It was a very different kind of innings to Lara’s 400, too. That was a knock of pure tedium, one man selfishly grinding his way to a record total in a dead rubber against an attack which included Gareth Batty.

Tendulkar, on the other hand, faced the world’s number one bowler, opened the batting and brutalised an entire attack. It was the cricketing equivalent of shagging someone so long and so hard that you both know you are going to wake up sore in the morning, but keeping doing it because you’re having fun and you know that, in some sort of masochistic way, they are, too.

Whatever you might think of the man, this was one hell of an innings.

Usually in a moment like this I would try and write some epic piece.

Not today.

Sachin Tendulkar made 200* in a one day international.

There is nothing to say.

Oh the humanity.

How do we let people like Karthik on the streets that our children play on.

The man is a monster.

You know what he did, and you are justifiably appalled by it.

Ensuring your team gets a victory ahead of allowing a man with more hundreds than anyone else get another one.

Does it get much lower than that.

Sure the Karthik sympathisers might try and say, the ball was on his pads, all he did was try and get bat on it, why didn’t Sachin really go for his hundred, and why didn’t Sachin run a two the last ball he faced, but these people are low filthy scum that don’t deserve to live in a world with free pornography available for all.

Hanging is too good for Karthik.

The filthy swine.

Some people may say I am overreacting, but they didn’t see how torn up Sachin was.

The poor little guy.

That six he hit was Un-Indian, and anyone who does that is no friend of cricket, or life itself.

He didn’t just stop Sachin from making a hundred, he pretty much reached into his chest, grabbed his heart, pulled it out, threw it on the ground, and kicked dirt onto it. DIRT.

When you deny Sachin a hundred you are essentially defecating on the very essence of the spirit of cricket.

But you like that, don’t you, Dinesh.

Based on Dinesh’s actions I have decided not to bring a child into this world, with people like him around, how could I?

ashes 2009: when freddie became jesus

Years ago I saw Michael Jordan’s last ever 40 point game. It was when he was with the Wizards. By halfway through the 3rd term it became obvious that no one in the stadium gave a shit about the result of the game.

They were all there for Jordan, and since he was putting on a vintage display, the game just faded away.

I have no idea what the result of the game was. I do remember some of Jordan’s reverse lay ups, some fade aways, and him pick pocketing Jason Kidd. After the game we got back to our Hostel and there were about 40 people with Jordan singlets on.

I can only image that is what people will feel like today. Some people might remember the game, but even with Australia winning this becomes Sachin’s game.

When Sachin caught White off the last ball of the innings, he threw the ball into the ground in a very pissed off manner. He knew India had played pretty ordinary to let Australia score 350.

Sachin wasn’t the only one, Dhoni ran off the ground without his team mates, Yuvraj and Praveen Kumar were still in conversation about a piece of lazy assed fielding. The senior players knew that they had been gifted a weak Australian side and they were in danger of losing.

Sehwag batted as he always does. Gautam City looked in an odd mood. Neither Dhoni or Yuvraj seemed quite on it. Raina had a lot of luck, but eventually went out to an ugly shot. Bhajji never got started. Jadeja kept pusihing the limits of sensible running. Praveen tried his hardest. Ashish and Patel were never going to get it done.

Those were the ten dudes. A collection of shit hot batsmen who were made to look like dribbling fools compared to Sachin.

He scored over half the runs, passed some unimportant milestone, seemed to be dragging Raina and Jadeja by the neck like kittens, and then eventually went out to a shot that wasn’t even thought of when he started playing.

India didn’t deserve to win, but Sachin did. I wanted him to make 200 and win the game, but he came up short and had pretty much no help at all.

I could go on about his innings, but he said it best.

“I was striking the ball pretty well”.

Yes, you were.

Eoin Morgan just played the most amazing shot I have ever seen.

Doug Marillier and his scoop are out.

KP and the switch-hit look lame.

I am not sure what this one could even be called.

Essentially he set himself up for the reverse sweep, without changing his hand position or leg position.

As he went to sweep, with his right leg forward (he is a cack hander) and the ball was put down his leg side, which was now sort of his off side, and he obviously thought it was too much of a stretch to play the reverse sweep.

What happened next was pure freak show.

Morgan readjusted his shot and while still standing in this side on left foot forward stance, he played the ball to short fine leg with a backwards straight bat flick drive.

It only went for a single, but the fact that he played it, and did it like he was playing a normal shot was… something.

Geraint Jones wasn’t even watching where the ball went, he was just staring at Eoin like he had just seen a Giraffe dressed as a human whistling show tunes.

He middled a ball facing the wrong way with a straight bat.

This wasn’t a guide, scoop or deflection, all of which he does a lot, this was a reverse backwards wrist drive.

I doubt anyone else will play it, I can’t think of any player outside of Sachin Tendulkar who could.

You need wrists made of rubber, and an eye like Sachin’s to even think of playing it.

I also assume it helps if you are 130* at the time.

Robert Croft described it as something you would pay a tenner to see it at a circus.

Fair call.

EDIT: Lauren has alerted us to it on youtube (already?)