Ricky Ponting claims that when he showers an alien by the name of Pinky gives him a special directors commentary of Schindler’s List from the right side of Steve Spielberg’s brain.
Ricky Ponting claims he was the lindberg baby.
Ricky Ponting claims that in a previous life he was Jesus’ butler.
Ricky Ponting claims that with the conditions in his team’s favour that winning 5-0 is possible when asked it as a direct question.
OK, so hardly the same thing, but from the headlines you’d swear he was running around the press conference tongue kissing the journalists with his own shit marking out a 5-0 win on his chest.
It is possible Australia win 5 zip, it is also possible England win it 5 zip.
Other things that are possible:
Shane Watson outing himself as a lover of plush toys.
Luke Wright using a deft touch with the bat to beat Australia in the deciding test.
Nathan Hauritz taking off his shirt and doing the Warne dance when Australia win a test.
Andrew Strauss getting caught with his dick in an exhaust pipe.
Australia or England winning 4-1 or 4-0.
If you asked me if these were possible, I’d say yes.
I probably wouldn’t say, “There’s no reason why not. It’s all in our (their) hands.”
I’d probably say, “none of these events are likely to happen, but there is a slim possibility that if you fucked Tony Greig in the eyeball for an hour straight you’d get nothing more than a sore dick as he is clearly an indestructible mother fucker, but what is more likely is that you’d end up with eye ball under your foreskin and if you have a big dick, just a touch of brain wedged in there too… and eyelashes, I ’spose”.
Anything is possible.
It is also possible that a captain in the twilight stage of a long career could be asked such an obviously inflammatory question and fuck it up. If the conditions favoured it.






