Kamran Akmal is in his hotel room watching repeats of the Shield (Mackie is doing something dodgy, again) after day 2 of the 2nd Test against Australia.
Kamran: Ahoy hoy.
Mysterious Sounding Dude: Mr Akmal, the chickens are coming home to roost.
Kamran: What fucken chickens.
Mysterious Sounding Dude: We need you to lose this match.
Kamran: This is Pakistan; we can probably lose it from here anyway.
Mysterious Sounding Dude: No, you must ensure. This is very important, I wouldn’t be calling you if it was not, that would be rude. Please lose.
Kamran: And how would I do that?
Mysterious Sounding Dude: We want you to drop every catch, miss run outs and be really shit.
Kamran: Wow, that is subtle, want me to bite a ball as well?
Mysterious Sounding Dude: No that would be stupid. Just perform badly.
Kamran: Won’t that be fucken obvious. I mean if a Pakistani misses a catch 73 politicians start press conferences.
Mysterious Sounding Dude: That is what we want; anarchy, Mr Akmal. We are going to use your bad keeping to fix the country of Pakistan. Your hard hands can start a people led revolution, and all we ask is that your drop some catches and the then we will do the rest.
Kamran: I don’t know, it just sounds kinda stupid.
Mysterious Sounding Dude: Mr Akmal, you are undoubtedly a cricketer of rare quality, but in the world of politics you are mildly retarded, our country needs this, are you going to be a hero for Pakistan?
Kamran: I’m hanging up now.
Mysterious Sounding Dude: Pakistan Zind….
The next day after dropping a catch down the legside.
Moyo: Kamran, you are keeping wickets like some character from fraggle rock?
Kamran: Well, either I am just a really shit keeper having a shocking day, or I am subconscious instrument of change.
Moyo: Sorry?
Kamran: um, Pakistan Zindabad.