cricket with balls

In his new book, i don’t know what it is called, Michael Vaughan writes about how Jonathan Trott celebrated with the South African team after they beat the English.

Actually he says that he saw Trott pat South African players on the back.

Up until ‘97 that was a hanging offence in England.

You would think with a top order made from mostly South Africans this sort of stuff wouldn’t have drifted away.

Vaughan goes on to say,

“I suppose you might wish Trott was a bit more English, but after such a brilliant debut it appeared we had found another high-quality batsman.”

The question vaughan doesn’t seem to ask is that if Trott was more English would have had looked so good on debut.

For all Vaughan knows Trott could have been just slapping some ex team mates on the back for their deserved win.

Would people question Ravi Bopara’s Englishness if after India won a match he patted some guys he knew from the IPL on the back.

Trott isn’t about to transfer back to South Africa.

He might not be fighting for his country, but like Nash, Elliott and others, he looks like he will fight like hell to stay in International cricket. There are blokes who are born in England who don’t seem to fight that hard, maybe they are commies?

Even the daily telegraph are not so sure about Trott, look at their Freudian slip when typing out Trott’s rebuttal.

“My commitment to England is 10o per cent. I’ve spent seven years working hard to be able to wear the Three Lions and in that time my allegiance has never wavered.”

Perhaps Douggie Bollinger can help Trott with his “Teno” percent commitment.

What Trott should be doing is going around and slagging off all the South African boys like KP did, that is how you show your true Britishness.

Well he hasn’t yet.

But he is going to, Scyld Berry said so.

I think this is for the best.

Once upon a time he was a top batsman.

His cover drive was pure as hell.

He scored at will.

When captaining he was composed and seemed to know what he was doing.

But he should have retired last year.

His knees were shot, his eyes were gone, his feet were slow, and his confidence had left him some time earlier.

Pride does strange thing to men, some keep their hairstyle for decades, others assume that time cannot weary them.

Michael Vaughan had become a 3 year old’s impression of what he used to be.

He was never one of my favourites, but it is sad to watch a player of class turn into a first class battler.

Well played Michael, you finally hit the straight one.

As it appears he is not good enough to warrant a place in England’s pre-ashes training squad of 16.

How is this so?

Do they not know that he is the winner of the 2005 Ashes?

Heretics.

Australia must be favourites now.

Look at the losers and malcontents they have picked before him.

Andrew Strauss (captain) James Anderson Ian Bell Ravinder Bopara Tim Bresnan  Stuart Broad Paul Collingwood Alastair Cook Andrew Flintoff Graham Onions  Monty Panesar Kevin Pietersen Matt Prior Adil Rashid Ryan Sidebottom Graeme Swann

Ian Bell; that weird little boy who doesn’t make runs.

Ravinder Bopara; a rough Essex lad who didn’t go to a public school.

Tim Bresnan; the portly all rounder who can’t tuck his shirt in.

Graeme Swann; a singer in a terrible pub band.

Ryan Sidebottom; a guy who looks like he should be a drummer in a terrible cover band.

Dreadful.

The England should be ashamed of themselves for not picking a man as wonderfully British as Michael Vaughan.

How tough is County Cricket?

Jeetan Patel made 120 against Yorkshire the other day.

He faced 155 balls batting at number 10 in a partnership of 233.

In the same game Michael Vaughan made 16 of 51 balls.

Does this make Jeets 7.5 times better than Michael Vaughan.

No.

But it is funny.

Although perhaps not to Michael Vaughan.

Jeets has played 72 first clas innings for Wellington.

His top score for them is 58*.

He has played one for Warwickshire, 120.

His average for Wellington is 18.

For Warwickshire is 120.

It doesn’t mean anything.

But I can’t stop smiling as I type.

AF: Belly and the Bottom are back.

AS: What do you mean, back?

In the squad.

Fuck no.

I promise.

Don’t you have a say?

Apparently not as much as we had hoped?

Did you show Geoff the photo of him, the peanut butter and the Clydesdale?

Yep, still a no go.

They cannot be allowed to come in and sully this new set up, this must be remedied.

How?

We must kill them both.

Whoa, seems a bit over the top, doesn’t it.

OK fine, lets set fire to Bell’s house, and I don’t know, um, slice off one of the Bottom’s nut sack while he sleeps.

Now that is a plan.

No that wont work, you’re too honest, and I would never get my hands dirty.

Freddie isn’t doing anything, and he told me he would do anything to get back into the side.

Clever little man, that is why you’re the coach, and I’m the captain.

Now, what do we do about Vaughan?

Who?