cricket with balls

Ian Harvey was a pretty hand all rounder back in his day.

The Australian’s never found a spot for him.

But in county cricket and Shield cricket he was the man.

People never really took him seriously though.

And these days most people wouldn’t even know where he is, or what he was doing.

I do, because he is the freak, and I saw him do things on a cricket field that no amount of cheap whiskey will ever erase from me.

Sort of like Jean Claude Van Damme.

My Audio Engineer for the podcasts, Captain Purple, purposefully cut his eyebrowe like Van Damme’s when he was a child.

Have to disagree with you UJ.

Hopes is Hopeless.

The way he constructed that innings on Tuesday night was useless. Yes he preserved his wicket, but he batted at 60% strike rate, when the run rate asked for 6-7 runs per over. The amount of balls he blocked was infuriating – whether he was trying to impress the test selectors, who knows, but it frustrated the $hit out of me.

This is a bold statement, which will no doubt come back to bite me and goes against the grain of CWB. But Shane Watson (the luckiest and most overrated Australian cricketer ever) is a better bet than Hopes – fit or not.

If UJ is comparing him to Harvey, his cricketing career will be snuffed very shortly.
Go away Hopes, go away.

James Hopes is the Ian Harvery we all wanted Ian Harvey to be.

Except no one wanted the freak to have an exceptionally small forehead, I’m assuming.

He can make quick runs in the middle order, even when all the other batsmen look frigid.

He can open the batting if required.

He can change a game with the ball.

He can bowl tight, or take wickets.

All this while looking like a Cro-Magnon man.

Sure he isn’t quite as flashy as the freak, but some may think that makes him more reliable, not me, but some.

He also doesn’t seem to smoke or drink like the freak, suck up to Warney like the freak, bowl 5 slower balls an over like the freak, or have a chubby little tummy like the freak.

Other things he needs to do to emulate the freak, take money off the Poms, South Africa and India whilst smoting their first class cricketers around.

Grow a nasty @ss mullet.

Not live up to his potential.

But there is one thing that I believe Hopes can do, and Harvey never quite did, invent a cricket shot.

In 7 years time the IPPCCL commentators will be saying, that was a lovely Hopes by Venkatapathi Raju Junior.

Just mark my words.

Ian the freak Harvey has helped the Chennai taxi drivers defeat the Chandigarh IT specialists in the final of the first ICL tournament.

The freak made a 30 odd before getting out Chris Cairns and bowling the last over for less than the 23 runs required.

After winning the tournament for his team, he was also given player of the series honour for his 266 runs and 9 wickets.

The talent on show at this ICL tournament must be mind boggling if an ex international fringe player can stumble over there from his domestic cricket commitments in the evil empire and walk away with the player of the series award.

The tournament’s playing roster consists of over weight ex players, guys who were never any good, English wicketkeepers and Indians who can’t make a full time career in Bollywood.

It is clearly the way of the future.

The word around the camp fire is that the Kiwis are giving up international cricket and instead planning on just fielding a team in the ICL.

The ICL will be declining this request, they have no plans for a a second division just yet.

…
After Mushtaq Ahmed and Matthew Elliott. Before Bryce McGain, Adam Gilchrist or Kumar Sangakarra.

There was Ian Harvey.

You know how teenagers are. When they fall, they fall hard.

Ian “the freak” Harvey was the ultimate player to me, he was a danger when bowling, batting or fielding.

His batting was exciting, exhilarating and often frustrating. Reminds me of my $ex life with a crazy girl I used to lay with.

His bowling was like my first girlfriend, great line and length, a little boring to watch, btu she kept you interest with her variety.

His fielding was like another girl I knew once, she was great with either hand.

Anyway we have been separated for quite a time now, he ended the relationship when he went to play domestic cricket in the evil empire.

Over the years I’ve learnt to live without him, I’ve used Cameron White and James Hopes as surrogates.

But now he is back, and he is seeing other people.

The ICL “I’m too old or crap to play real cricket” is upon us.

Harvey is playing in it, for a Queenslander and a Nswelshman.

He made 60 off 40 in the last game (which was the first one I think.

I should be excited, but its like an ex seeing another dude, good for her and all that (c)rap, but I don’t really care what happens to her anymore.

I’ve moved on, I don’t need him in my life anymore.

Just like I have from Uma, when it was great, it was great, but now all i can do is look at old photographs and remember when I was young and stupid(er).