cricket with balls

It had to come eventually.

For  so long I have poured all kinds of shit on this little club offie.

He still survived.

He even took test wickets.

He cemented his place in the One Day side.

He even didn’t always look like a nervous wreck one six away from suicide.

Now his hate for me has made me so strong that he has taken down the one team i truly love, VIctoria.

That lickle fucker.

Two wickets in one over, and Victoria were dead.

He even took the piss by then bowling his second over for 12.

Nice touch.

I could see him on the bench mouthing “fuck you jrod” as Warner and Hughes smacked the Vics everywhere.

When he bowled Quiney with the arm ball you could his middle finger staring back at me on the screen, he knew i was watching, and he was making a statement.

Well played, Nathan.

You have won this time, but let’s see who gets the last laugh.

I just didn’t think the Victorian team would help Nathan get back at me.

It is easy to take the piss out of Lalit Modi.

Look he is a greedy wanker who once pleaded guilty to kidnapping.

Look he has paid people to listen to him now the camera is on.

Look he is talking on two phones at once.

Look at his face, he is clearly the Ricky Ponting of Sports Admin.

But, think about what he has done for us.

He has given us three cricket sides that cost roughly 300 Million USD to be put together.

Only 170 Million of that was on the Deccan theme tune.

Then he put these three teams into a tournament especially set up so that they would have a second chance to shine.

He invited others for the hell of it.

And then his 3 millionaire clubs all fell down.

Not one of these sides has even made the semi finals.

That is quite an effort.

Instead we have the great story of the Trinidad & Tobago team captained by the smooth drink of water that is Daren Ganga.

And 3 other teams.

Lalit, i thank you for allowing all of us to laugh at millionaires and IPL teams, while giving us the gift of Ganga.

You are truly a good hearted man.

The victim stated that he was in Rajiv Gandhi International Stadium at the above location on the above time and date.

The victim stated that he was asked to bowl by his captain (SK) he was when savagely beaten for 4 or 5 times by Suspect 1 (KP).

The victim stated that he advised the captain that he had been beaten.

The victim stated that captain advised him that he would have to go back to face up to the suspect.

The victim then said that the Suspect 1 then grabbed him and and beat him three more times around the head, then suggested the victim leave.

The victim’s teammates then carried the victim off the ground.

The captain then advised the victim that he was a disgrace to his uniform.

The victim then used profanity towards the captain.

To prevent an escalation the victim’s teammates stepped in and handed the victim to local ambulance staff.

The victim has submitted this as evidence.

I don’t believe this title.

Or even agree with it.

Right now it is making me laugh, so I couldn’t help myself.

When the IPL teams lost to South African and Australian teams i thought it was fair enough, they are quality teams.

But this was SOMERSET.

I thought they were the worst side in this competition, and they just beat the Deccan Chargers, winners of the last IPL.

Deccan has their own song, Somerset is sponsored by eggs.

Do you see the difference.

This is an amazing result.

If these were normal Indian clubs from the Ranji trophy it wouldn’t be that funny.

But these are fake plastic teams owned by magnates and collective wankers with big troughs of cash to dip into at any time, so the schadenfreude is monstrous.

Right now I demand that the Lalit Modi poll be re-taken, surely 82fucken% of people don’t think he is the saviour of shit right now.

Maybe Twenty20 will save cricket.

One IPL loss at a time.

Dine out on this cricket lovers, as, sadly, the IPL teams will win games, but not as many as they thought.

Is it too late to replace these teams with a Ranji team, just so Indians can save face…

Or should we start to bag the underperforming international players, their money grubbing nature is ruining the young pure cricket players of India.

Either way, I am still laughing.

Eggs.

Controversy has hit the Champion’s league with the IPL franchises from Bangalore and Delhi deciding to pull out of the competition.

The organisers of the tournament are in shock, and have started making calls to other non Pakistani 2020 domestic teams to see if they can fill in.

The move comes after a contract dispute between the Champion’s League and the IPL teams.  Originally the teams were promised that they would be the best sides in the competition. It became clear to Delhi and Bangalore in their first games that this was not the case.

They shared their reservations with Lalit Modi and other key members of the organising committee on Friday night, but it appears that the talks broke down almost before they started.

Amongst the revelations is that both sides believe they were guaranteed semi final places by key officials, but there is no paperwork that backs up this claim.

There is no word yet on what Deccan will do, they are still yet to play their first game, but as some of their players were overheard saying they considered their first game a bye, you would assume they are still happy to go ahead in the tournament.

This is a blow for the tournament that is still reeling from the fact that Shaggy was the best artist they could get for the opening ceremony. With reports coming in that the crowd for the first game that had no Indian teams participating, NSWales Vs Diamond Eagles, was 11 people until the 13^th over, this is the last thing this exciting new venture in cricketainment would want.

Indian fans are upset too.  Being that 82% of them voted Lalit Modi the saviour of Indian cricket, they cannot believe that he would let this happen.

At least one Indian politician has called for the tournament to be scrapped and for Lalit Modi to be sacked.

Champion’s League officials are working through the clock to try and keep the tournament alive, Lalit Modi was least seen talking on three mobile phones at the one time.

EDIT: I can’t believe I have to say this, but this is satire.