cricket with balls

When I read about Sulieman Benn, Brad Haddin and Mitchell Johnson getting into a shoving match I wet myself in at least two different ways.

Then I saw it.

The play by play.

Haddin hits a ball into the ball short on the leg side; Benn and Johnson get in a tangle. Not that it is hard to get tangled with Benn. They collided fairly naturally; Johnson tried to push him away, Benn seemed to grab him and tried to get his leg in his way, and eventually they unentwined and the run was completed.

Haddin got pissed that Benn was grabbing at Johnson; I doubt he would have seen Johnson’s push from his position. He then had a go at Benn, with a bit of bat waving nonsense thrown in.

Then Benn got angry, mostly about the bat waving, as Haddin and Gayle had a fairly unaggressive chat. Benn then kept abusing Haddin (who seemed bored of it and walked away) about the bat waving and kept calling him big man. From what I could hear I believe he said, “Watch yourself, big man, don’t fucken point your bat at me, man.” Gayle didn’t try to do much so Billy came over, eventually.

Then later when Benn was bowling to Haddin he hit one straight back to Benn who feigned that he was going to throw the ball at Haddin/thestumps, probably the equivalent of the bat waving. It was a terrible feign, and obvious he was not going to throw, so much so that you couldn’t even say he was going to throw it at Haddin, as he never really cocked his arm correctly. It was more a wild swing of the arms from a 2 year old.

That was the end of the over and Haddin walked down mouthing off to Benn (Benn could have been mouthing back but that angle wasn’t shown). Benn did a big like point at Haddin, but Johnson got in the way, and Benn’s arm struck Johnson ever so lightly, and Johnson tried to swat it away like someone had poured ice down his top and Benn slapped his arm away.

Then Billy finally got sort of involved and Benn left.

The history.

Haddin and Benn have history, last tour they kept chirping at each other, and at one stage Benn thrust out his leg to try and trip Haddin. Not sure if that had anything to do wit this, but they clearly don’t like each other.

Perhaps Neil Broom and Benn are friends?

In this tour Benn has been yapping non stop to the aussies, and the funniest moment had to be when Watson was marking his guard to start the last innings at Adelaide and Benn was craned over him talking and talking.

Haddin has also been chirping a lot when Benn has been into bat.

The verdict.

What a load of shit. It wasn’t a shoving match; it was an accidental tap and some heated words. Haddin probably rented a high horse he has no moral reason to get on, and Benn overreacted and then dragged it out until it was almost painful to watch.

Perhaps if the ICC want to clean cricket of any sort of human emotion Haddin and Benn should be given a level one fine for the bat waving, feigned throw and swearing, but it still seems pretty piss poor to me. I can’t see how Johnson can even be charged.

But what about Billy, he could have stopped this at any time. What the hell was he doing? First he stood behind the stumps as Benn got angrier and angrier, then he took way too long to get down to where Benn and Haddin were clearly going to meet. Will he get fined for failing to act, will he get warned that he needs to get involved in these things and try and diffuse them. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen Billy stand around and so nothing while teams are getting heated.

My vow.

If any player gets suspended, and from the original charges it seems only Benn can, I will start a petition to get him freed.

Cricket is a passionate game, people get fired up. Things are said, glares are exchanged, bats are waived, and fingers are pointed. That is all good. Passion is why we love this game.

We want to see players who are out there to win, not collect endorsements. Benn is a fiery bugger, and I love that about him. If the ICC wants to take people like him out of the game then they have to get by this site first.

There are no fingers pointed or bats waived in my Ashes book, but there should be.

The West Indies will rue the fact they couldn’t close this match out. They will be shaking their fist at the sky.

In some ways they might have come closer had the pitch been easier to score on, so then Australia would have scored a bit quicker and attacked more.

Instead they had to watch Watson, Hussey, Clarke and Haddin eat up valuble time while Chris Gayle started putting fielders in random positions on the leg side. Glorious random positions.

Shane Watson’s innings was something else.  Not content with how many Australian fans bag him, he dragged the run rate below 3 runs an over until any chance of Australia winning was lost in a flurry of awkward defensive shots of Benn.

I must admit I was supporting the Windies, not because I was pissed off with the Aussies, but because cricket bet live said if the Windies won they would buy ten copies of my book for their staff.

Unfortunately they couldn’t get there.

I stayed up all night, it is now dawn, and the last time i saw the oversized product placement drink car i thought it was a giant penis.

Last test I said that it was like watching a big brother beating up his little brother. This test seemed to be more like the big brother not paying attention and the little brother jumping on his back and smacking him in the head. The big brother, eventually shrugged him off, but he got some nice whacks to the head.

Adrian Barath bowled, that was fun.

If the Windies can take this form into the next match, the Team Nash will have plenty to cheer for.

The match is at the Waca, and Australia haven’t played well at the Waca in quite some time.

What I want to know is whether Team Nash will travel to the Waca.

I might  go to sleep now.

Some of this post made sense, I am sure.

Australia

Tried to sit on the Windies and keep their total low. They did it well, and even picked up wickets. The Windies scored at less than 3 runs an over. The 8 wickets means that declaration isn’t the only option.

West Indies

Gayle made 143 out of the 261 runs scored. Without him Australia might be 2/120 chasing 180 odd. He might not like test cricket, but he hates being embarrassed.

Who should win

Because of the Windies scoring rate, Australia can still win. Anything less than 300 runs to chase should be very gettable, this pitch has not broken up and seems to be playing fine. Reverse swing and Benn are going to be the Windies weapons. Their problem is that so far they haven’t looked like bowling Australia out in one day. If Australia has 80 overs to bat, there won’t be a draw. I think Australia might slip by, unless Benn pulls out something special.

Play of the day

Chris Gayle’s jig upon scoring his hundred was superb, but you can’t beat a strop. When Douggie Bollinger hit the Nash pad after he shouldered arms everyone just sort of assumed it would be out. It wasn’t. With no reviews (Ricky threw them away on magic beans) he kicked the dirt like a angry 7 year old. Stuart Broad’s dad decided to fine Douggie. He must have been tempted to spank him though.

Testicular moment of the day

Chris Gayle has a streak of determination in him. Often he leaves it at home, but yesterday he remembered it. It was like he had been reading every article about how shit his team is. This was a special innings; it was Chris Gayle on Ritalin. When he does something special, his team lifts. An innings like that probably deserves a win.

Working class moment

The other spinner takes a five wicket haul, the ball is spinning, and you bowl 27 overs. To go wicketless must feel shit. Poor Nathan.

Fun fact

Brendan Nash has gone out 4 times in this series, every time to someone who was born in New Texas (Queensland), the same state he played for.

Question of the day

Will Chris Gayle need to take a five wicket haul to win?

Check out my book, ashes 09: when freddie became jesus.

Australia

Had the same problem they had at the Gabba, no one could make the big score and wickets kept falling regularly.  Hussey batted the into a real hole, and the Windies never let them out.

West Indies

Kemar Rocha and Sulieman Benn gave the Windies a chance in this game. They were generally on the money all day.  Was a great day of cricket from them.

Who is in front

Windies can make the game go anyway they want.  Both teams can still win. But it is the Windies who have to make all the choices.

Play of the day

Sulieman Benn is a character, and possibly, a bit mad. In the past he has been in trouble for tripping batsmen, and he is never short of a word. Yesterday he invented a mystery ball so good that no batsmen could hit it. The reason was he didn’t have the ball, he came in with the Haddin over the bat, and all the fielders in place, but the ball was behind him on the ground. It was the best surrealist ball I have ever seen not delivered.

Shane Watson did something funny too…

Testicular moment of the day

Play of the day and Testicular moment of the day, well done Benn.  When the Windies beat England at Jamaica this year it was Benn who set up the game before Jerome Taylor came in and got the headlines.  After that game I thought he would really become a top test match bowler, since then he has been horrible, until yesterday.  All day he kept the batsmen guessing and they never got on top of him. His 5 wickets on a benign surface were well earned.  Top effort big fella.

Working class moment

Kemar Roach was probably the pick of the bowlers. He was proper class. Moving the ball late, making the Aussies play, working over Hussey, and only picking up 3 wickets.  He is almost as good as the commentators constantly make out.

Question of the day

A collapse or a declaration?

Check out my book, ashes 09: when freddie became jesus.

Australia

Except for one hour, Australia had this day by the scruff of the neck. What an annoying hour though.

West Indies

Finally got their batting right, but their bowling was not good. Their two best bowlers are out injured, Sammy was not fit, and when the ball stopped moving they looked like a club attack. Not a great one either.

Who is in front

Knowing the two sides you would rather be Australia, but all the Windies need is one bowler to “pull a broad” and they can win this game. Roach is the only one who can, but I just don’t see it.

Play of the day

I’ve always been a fan of DJ Sammy, and not just because he has a magnificently shaped head. The problem with him is that he is not a good enough batsman to play as a batsman, and is not a good enough bowler to justify being one of the top four on most surfaces. Yesterday should have been a great chance for him, instead his action seemed to resemble that of an American man bowling for the first time. He has never been graceful, but this was hideous, with his leg injury on his mind probably the best thing would have been to put him down. Instead he bowled 9 hobbly overs.

Testicular moment of the day

Shane Watson’s position as opener does not make sense. Even Ricky Ponting agrees. And with a failure in the first test the selectors could have already been looking for a change. They might not have dropped him, but Watson would have been concerned. So when he came out and Roach was swinging the ball it could have ended badly, instead he smashed this average attack hard. Now he is 4 runs from his maiden hundred, and knowing his history of going out straight after a break in play, I suggest he runs down the pitch first ball and tries to hit it for six.

Working class moment

They keep saying that Ravi Rampaul was a batsman once upon a time. Now he bats at 11. Yesterday batted so well that he almost got Nash to his hundred, although I think Rampaul should be pissed off as he was on his way to an easy 50 before Nash went out. Then Rampaul went out to bowl. That wasn’t as good.

Question of the day

Will Australia lose a wicket before they pass the Windies score?

Check out my book, ashes 09: when freddie became jesus.