cricket with balls

Andy Flower is the coach of England.

Last man standing.

I like Andy Flower so I hope he does well.

But… Not sure I would want this job.

Jobs i would want more than English coach:

Peter Andre’s chest waxer.

Andre Nel’s chest waxer.

Gordon Brown’s glass eye.

Shoaib Ahktar’s manager.

Alec Stewarts friend.

ICC blogger.

Andre Nel is retiring from international cricket, probably to kill your children.

Rightfully so.

We loved Andre, we still love Andre.

But we are too emotional to give him a proper Gunter type send off today.

Andre, one day we will rule the world together, don’t fret my pretty.

See you at the oval.

Who do i kow this?

Tiny Tim Ambrose is back.

Yes him.

The man that New Zealand tried to prove was a test cricketer, 6 tests average of 30, and South Africa proved wasn’t, 4 tests average of 16.

Here at CWB we don’t really like, rate, or care that Tiny Tim exists.

We do know that he isn’t in the best 3 keepers in England.

That he isn’t of test match standard.

That his general appearance in an English shirt makes us believe that England are an inferior outfit.

And that Matt Prior obviously doesn’t respect him much if he is willing to give him a go in his absence.

If I was Chris Gayle I would love this, prior has damaged them a bit already, and has made more runs than Cook or Freddie in this series.

This news has made this an even sadder day for test cricket, as it could read Nel Out, Ambrose In, on the hearts of many.

When talking about cricket we generally take a light hearted look at the game.

So many cricket sites take it seriously, we feel the need to lighten the load.

But right now i cannot find a way to make jokes.

I have run out of whimsy.

Cricket With Balls has lost a loved one.

Andre “Serial Killer” “Gunter” “The Joker” Nel has been tossed away by South Africa.

He will not appear under the harsh lights of International cricket any more.

They said his central contract was not renewed, but we know better, he has been terminated for interesting behaviour unbecoming of a South African cricketer.

Our eyes shall have to get used to not seeing the tall bundle of comedic serial killing intentions playing international cricket.

Currently he is serving a ban for two seperate swearing incidents.

I cried a little as i wrote that.

Goodbye nobel prince.

We should be excited.

South Africa Vs Australia is our favourite series.

But, we miss him.

Our heart is heavy.

We almost feel lost without him.

The poor fucker is sitting in the hills drinking absinthe out of a goats liver while eating stray animals, and we wish he was playing.

Andre Nel is more than a player.

He is a mental case performance artist with homicidal tendencies.

They don’t grow on trees.

Not even in the tropics.

This series doesn’t have a lot of personality in it.

Smith used to be entertaining when he was a cocky dickrod, but that has gone.

Roy was more fun when he was less grumpy.

Who else?

Morne Morkel, at a stretch, might provide some light hearted moments if he breaks down mid over again.

A truly entertaining figure seems thin on the ground.

Andre could make up for all of that, and then some.

Unfortunately we may never see the crazy fucker again.

He will be sorely missed.

As will the goat.

cricketwithballs