cricket with balls

Alastair Cook has been named as England’s Test captain for their tour of Bangladesh in February and March, after the selectors opted to stop thinking.

National Selector Geoff Miller said: “Andrew Strauss has provided outstanding leadership for the team in both forms of the game over the past 12 months and the selectors feel it is important that the team knows what it is like to have rubbish leadership and we are extremely confident that Alastair Cook can provide this.

Strauss is the only frontline Test batsman to miss the trip. “We still want to win, we just don’t think we need good leadership to do that,” said Miller.

“Our decision to appoint Alastair Cook to the Test vice-captaincy last year was completely random, clearly we had no idea then, and now we have demonstrated consistency with our decisions. We have no idea what we will do next.  We’re crazy.”

“Cook’s played over 50 Tests now,” added Miller, “surely that, plus the fact he went to public school, can talk good, is a batsman, and is not from the north is more than enough reason to make him captain. Although we want to make it clear, we had no such reason when we made the decision, but we thought we better backward engineer one.  Darren Pattinson was also considered.”

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Graham Gooch has done everything in his power to give little Essex star Alastair Cook his batting mojo.

He hasn’t asked him to get fat or put on a hilarious moustache, but he has got him standing taller, getting his twitchy footwork done earlier and playing straighter.

For all that training Cook’s front foot is still in the air as the bowler lets go, he still wafts with a slanted bat at wide ones, and plays at ball he doesn’t have to.

Today he nicked one that was dropped, then nicked another one and buggered off.

I think Gooch was a terrific player, and for all i know he could be the Vince Lombardi of batting coaches, but something isn’t right here.

Is turning Cook into a bastardised version of himself really going to help?

In no way is Cook’s normal batting anything like Gooch’s, so why shape him that way.

Surely there is a way to change his technique without moulding it onto one that is the polar opposite.

It reminds me of the whole Cameron White coaching fiasco, where Terry Jenner tried to make him more Shane Warne like and now he bowls like Shane Warne would if he had Polio.

Cook is a back foot player, one who takes half a step forward, who nudges off his hip alot and plays the pull shot well. Plus, you know, left handed.

Other than Michael Slater I can’t think of many players from the last generation less like Cook than Gooch.

In other news, South Africa batted today, I can tell because I woke up on the couch.

I was struck yesterday by the fact that captaining a cricket side is less important than wicketkeeping, so I did something for TWC.

And I thought it was about time that someone got a little ranty on cricinfo about the king probot mike hussey.

This is how cricinfo described the Cook dismissal:

“29.1

Johnson to Anderson, 1 leg bye, fast and full, Anderson gets pad on it and gets a leg-bye

Odd that Anderson would take one there. Isn’t the nightwatchman supposed to protect the recognised batsman?

29.2

Johnson to Cook, no run, oh boy, this one stays a bit low, it’s right on line and Cook is fortunate that he got the bat down in time to get an inside edge on that

29.3

Johnson to Cook, no run, left alone outside off

29.4

Johnson to Cook, no run, clipped away to square leg

29.5

Johnson to Cook, no run, outside off, Cook can safely let this one go through to Haddin

29.6

Johnson to Cook, OUT, Cook is gone! Johnson gets another, fast and full, swinging away from Cook, who gets a thin edge through to Haddin. Wonderful bowling!

AN Cook c †Haddin b Johnson 30 (136m 84b 4×4 0×6) SR: 35.71

What a spell from Mitchell Johnson. He’s back, no question. And you have to wonder about the sense of using a nightwatchman if he’s not going to take the strike.”

My thoughts on nightwatchman are well known (any batsman who calls for one should be beaten with shoes) but surely if one is out there he should do his fucken job.

England didn’t need a nightwatchman, they needed Jesus, Elvis and Keith Miller to come in.

The one reason I was drawn to cricket above all other sports was the mental side of the game.

The on field tactics, the sledging, the all or nothing nature of batting, and the variations in the bowling.

I was much better at racquet sports, but cricket is like chess with a hardball and legspin.  No other sport could truly compare.

That brings me to today, in just less than 10 sessions 1000 runs were made for 15 wickets.

Quite clearly a pitch to bat on.

But then England go in and 2 wickets fall in 6 overs.

Amazing.

Alistair Cook is the important one.

His wicket was mental.

It was a straight ball, he missed it.

Referred pressure, defensive mentality, caught in two minds. All could have been the cause.

Cook is a very talented batsman, he has some technical flaws away from his body, but missing a straight ball on a pitch like this not something he would do without referred pressure.

He spent three days in the field, realised he was batting for time and not for runs, and played across the line to a straight ball.

It didn’t keep low, swing, seam or anything, he just missed it, and all of England moaned.

‘Tis a beautiful game.