cricket with balls

Adam Voges chose his woman before his country.

When picked for the South African squad, he said no, my woman comes first, I will marry her instead.

No one was quite sure how that would play in the darkened ivory laden selectorial grotto of Cricket Australia.

Surely that was something that james sutherland could spin into a sponsorship deal, but how would the selectors feel.

Apparently it pissed someone off, A Voges does not find himself in the tour to the Sahara Desert to play Pakistan.

Even though two batsman are being ‘rested’ and two have been dropped.

The selectors are clearly telling the boy something, support dying in laws (think M Clarke) and we will allow it, but don’t support your woman, unless she is dying (think G McGrath).

Shaun Marsh and Andrew Symonds have come in, Cam White, Marcus North, Mike Hussey and Ricky Ponting are all out.

And so is Voges, maybe for ever.

Lets hope that marriage lasts, she tastes like beer and pizza, and she is a great woman.

If not, everytime she moans, or pisses him off he will stare at her with murderous intent.

Can’t you just see him on the rotten brown sofa, yellow stain on his singlet, signed stump in his hand, just waiting for her to turn before he takes to her like he did that day against NSWales.

I know.

I bet the selectors didn’t ring him either, I bet they just dropped the names to the media, and rang the inclusions.

They are good like that.

Adam Voges has decided to get married instead of playing one day cricket for Australia.

People who favour the test game will be happy.

But in reality, what the fuck is Voges thinking.

It’s not as if this will be his only marriage.

That said, it is only one day cricket.

Maybe he is saving himself for the 2020 game.

I don’t really have an opinion.

Questions should be aimed at  Voges wedding planner for picking these dates.

If I were to have an opinion, which i don’t, i would say that since cricketers have a 15 year window in their careers, perhaps knocking back international caps is a foolish decision.

Although i wouldn’t say that to the future Mrs Voges.

When Voges took that catch, alot of people got excited, I didn’t, it seemed like a logical way to take an outfield catch.

Even Tony Greig had suggested it before.

I am sure teams include it in training drills now.

I am sure you have seen it by now, but if not.

Voges added a little dalliance with the rope, which was nice.

Now the perfect boyfriend has added his own version, and people seem excited again.

Jacob’s was defnitley harder, but without tripping it doesn’t quite pop as much.

I don’t think either of these catches are the best of all time, they are clever and intuitive, and make great youtubing, but that is about all.

Australia are well and truly in panic mode now.

They have now picked another player I have hardly ever mentioned before.

And Adam Voges.

All because Ricky needs a break.

For a moment i thought Callum Ferguson had never penetrated these hallow halls.

But i was wrong,

See.

That was October 07.

The memories.

Usually i would be up in arms about such a selection.

However Ferguson has just made runs against the Vics, and i looked at his record this year, and it’s pretty good.

Quiney and Bailey must feel a little aggrieved, both would have thought they were closer to the national side, as they have spread their good work over a couple of seasons, and Quiney has made runs against NSWales at full strength, and Bailey just made runs against the Kiwis.

Ferguson is not a bad bat, but he just never seemed to kick on for SA, obviously al that time with Younis Khan has really given his game that extra edge.

Seems like an odd selection to me, but Voges will probably play ahead of him.

Although knowing Voges he will probably miss out, again.

I wrote a piece about Australian spinners and Zombies for TWC.

Here it is.

Only, they took out the zombies.

Imagine you are held up in a castle, which is surrounded by Zombies,
and there are 5 people with you.

One is a librarian, two of them accountants, one unemployed X box
champ and a carpenter who did 6 months of kick boxing.

At this stage you are better equipped to survive the zombies than
Australia is to find a spinner.

You think you know how bad Australia’s spin options are, you really
don’t.

Forget about White’s straight’uns, and Krejza’s cameo on this test.

Back home the truth is even uglier.

3 games into the domestic season and the number one spinning wicket
taker is Marcus North with 6 wickets.

Marcus North is a batsman, a good one, and as a spinner is someone you
bowl before a break, or when your state doesn’t want to pick a real
spinner. His career first class bowling average is 44.

Next on the list is Nathan Hauritz, occasional Australian tourist with
a career first class bowling average of 49, and he has 5 wickets half
way through his third game. How he still gets a first class game for
NSWales is beyond me.

Behind him is Andrew Symonds, the best performed finger spinner
Australia has had since Colin Funky Miller and still in the doghouse
over his fishing.

Then Adam Voges, another batsman, who gets a bowl when Marcus North is
tired.

Rounding out the top 5 is Aaron O’Brien of South Australia, who has a
career first class bowling average of over 70, and a career batting
average of 25. He proves if you can hold a bat you can get a game for
South Australia at the moment.

That is what Australia has to pick from.

They haven’t had the best of luck with their spinners.

Shane Warne retires to spend time with the ladies, Brad Hogg retires
to tend to his sick lady, and Stuart MacGill retires because the fat
lady was singing.

Then they find Cricket With Balls Own Nice Bryce McGain in an internet
café searching dating sites, they offer him the job, he takes it, but
his arm is stuffed from all those years of moving his mouse around and
he can’t bowl.

So what do they have left, a batsman who doesn’t bowl himself in
White, and an off spinner with a terrible record on the field and not
much better off it in Krejza.

Not to forget Beautiful Beau Casson who went from being a test
cricketer to not being a regular in his state side without playing a
game in between.

Australia does not have a spin dilemma, they simply don’t have spinners.

What they have is part timers, White, North, Symonds, and Voges.

And journeymen, Krejza, Hauritz, Casson, and O’Brien.

There are young spinners coming through, Jon Holland from Victoria has
impressed a lot of players in his first year, and Steve Smith from
NSWales looks like a real talent.

Unfortunately Dan Cullen, Xavier Doherty and Cullen Bailey have been
“coming through” for so long now it looks like they have gotten lost.

If you were a selector looking for an Australian spinner right now,
you’d probably prefer to take on a few Zombies.

Although, you could argue most of these guys bowl like Zombies already.

Now be honest, better with or without Zombies?