cricket with balls

I want to work in cricket.

Not because it makes me rich, not because I’ll ever play for my country, and not because I think it is a cool job.

I do it because cricket is something that I love.

Since I was a child it has been the one constant in my life.  My first overseas trip was for cricket.  When I was a kid I slept with a new bat in my dead.  My Friday afternoons were all about working out the best fielding positions for the next day.  I spent days on end sitting the MCG with no one else watching the vics.  The delivery of the cricket gear catalogue was more spiritual than anything else in my life.

Right at the moment I don’t like cricket.

I fucken hate it.

I’m so sick and tired of this shit.

It makes me sick.

This whole thing makes me doubt the game I love, the game I grew up with.

Cricketers should be paid more, but there isn’t a cricketer in this test match who will make less than I will this year.  Or last year, or the year before.

But this isn’t just about money.  It’s the Fucken nerve, the Fucken spinelessness, the Fucken abuse.

I’m so Fucken angry at these assholes of cunts.  Those who set it up, those who benefit from it, and those who do it.

I’m assuming that most people reading this, and the person who wrote it, would play for his country for free.  Or at least, what ever a plumber gets.

Some people are just cunts, and they don’t deserve cricket.  And cricket sure as shit doesn’t deserve them.

I cannot fully articulate how angry I am right now.

The game I love has never been clean, but this just seems worse.

Probably because it is in a test match.

But it just feels Fucken horrible right now.

Like someone has cheated on me.

I’m not naïve about spot fixing, I’ve written more than a few pieces about it.  I know it goes on.  But in pointless ICL, IPL or Pro40 games.

This is way Fucken worse.

I’ve never forgiven Hansie Cronje, and I sure as shit wont forgive anyone here either.

No one is guilty yet, that doesn’t make this any better.

I’ve read the transcripts, seen the video and read all the articles.  I want it to be fake, but it doesn’t feel fake.  It feels wrong, because when i read or watch it, i feel sick in my stomach.

I talked to a friend on the phone, both he and I knew that fixing was around, but this still rocked both of us.  I could barely talk, he was breaking down.

We are grown men, men that love and work in cricket. But this just hits you, even if you thought it was a possibility. Even if you thought it could have been happening.  To read the details just hurts.

My game, fucked.

Maybe some of the details from NOTW are wrong, but something has happened, I saw those no balls live, I don’t need news channels showing them to me with a photoshopped circles around them.  They looked dodgy at the time, we even joked on test match sofa that it was like the no balls that David Saker used to bowl on purpose back in club cricket.

Fuck.

This is just complete shit.

I can’t be bothered with it.  There is so much to say, but I’m too Fucken angry, probably even more upset.

Cricket, I love it, but I fucken hate it. Right now.

Dedicated to my wife on our wedding anniversary.

Today I had the displeasure of seeing Stuart Broad make a hundred.

That is all.

Not long ago I wrote about the Cricket Australia plan to dice up the one day game.

What do I care.  I don’t like one day cricket that much and I’ll hardly see any of the games.

But, the players have much more an interest in it, so why not let them chat about it.

So here is two differing opinions from current Australian domestic players.

Due to contracts, I have to not name one of the players, I’m sure you’ll understand why.

Positive:

I’m sure @CricketAus have put a lot of research into it! Something new and exciting for both fans and players! Can’t wait

Aaron Finch (when asked thoughts on the new one-day format).

Negative:

45 over, split innings cricket… its like your girlfriend stopping mid-blowjob saying she needs to do a shit, then you being able to smell it the whole time she continues. Sure, you can probably still get some enjoyment out of it. Just the lingering smell distracting you takes away from the contest at hand, and turns it into not a real blow job. There’s going to be a result, both teams won’t enjoy it as much as a blowjob without the stench, but there may indeed be an audience that will spectate this stinky-blow-job arena. It will at first be to see just what it does indeed smell like, but many will sing its praises as a new type of fetish that they will subscribe to religiously. Cricket Australia will market the ’shit’ out of the blowjob, so you are left questioning whether there actually was a dump, maybe said dump smells quite good, or maybe even it was you who did the dump.

Fear not though lovers of a real sucking, for the blowjob is not yet dead. The Indians love to recieve a proper gobby, and have no interest in smelling the shit. In years to come this will be the type of hairy armpit, bushy minge blowjob that many sit back and watch together for a laugh secretly trying to hide their semi-erect penii in their stonewash jeans, while Cricket Australia think of the next kinky plan to ruin the great game of sucky sucky.

As usual, cricket with balls gives you both sides of the argument.

Fair, balanced and fucked up.

”At no stage have they told any selector that his job is being dissolved, discontinued. One of us has to drop off, not anyone has been told who that one is going to be. Our future is in someone else’s hands. Obviously we would like to know who it is. If it is me that gets dropped off the list, I have enjoyed my time with the Australian cricket team, it has been absolutely fantastic. What happens going forward is out of my hands.”

Merv Hughes

OK, you’ve now read that.

Let me do this to it.

”At no stage have they told any player that he will be getting the axe. One of us has to drop off, not anyone has been told who that one is going to be. Our future is in someone else’s hands. Obviously we would like to know who it is. If it is me that gets dropped, I have enjoyed my time with the Australian cricket team, it has been absolutely fantastic. What happens going forward is out of my hands.”

Any cricket player ever

I feel sorry for cricketers that they have to live and die  by old men who have agendas, but that is how cricket is.

That is how life is.

Your job as selector is to select the team, that means making tough calls on people’s careers.

But, Merv, someone has to select the selectors.

And now you are on the end of what you do to other people all the time.

As one cricketer may or may not have said to me, “My heart bleeds boys, it really does, now go back to the 2s, get some runs and hopefully we can chat later in the summer…”.

You surely can’t complain.

This isn’t even a full time position you currently hold. You have a real job, I assume.

If it was full time, Merv, then you’d have been made to pay the couple of bucks a month to get a foxtel subscription to watch the international cricket you currently don’t see.

If it was full time, Boon and Cox would have to give up their jobs helping out SA and Tas.

If it was full time, Hilditch wouldn’t be walking dogs on the beach while test matches are being played.

Boys, I do feel sorry for you, but one of you will have to miss out. G Chappell is obviously the future, and we need to fast track him into the system, this doesn’t mean the end for you, obviously Hilditch is on his way out, so maybe one of you can go back, get a bunch of good decisions under your belt and get a call up.  No one ever said the life of a selector was an easy one, but you’ve made it once, you can make it again. A lot of great selectors were dropped early, and they fought like hell to make it back, there is no reason why you can’t do the same. .  You’ve done well, but this is mostly for selectorial balance, you know, horses for courses.