cricket with balls

It seems like Matty Hayden is now selling theme park tickets to the kiwis.

Sportreview doesn’t like this, you can read all about why he doesn’t like it here, but the gist is, he thinks it is a bit shit and he’d like to take the piss.

So, his competition is to see what you can photoshop in behind Hayden to properly take the piss.

According to the rules, “Points will be awarded for 1. being funny and 2. making Hayden look like a twat.”

And then you can send in your work to richard (at) sportreview dot net dot nz and if he likes it he’ll put it on his website.

There is a prize, an equally shit DVD no one has ever heard of.

I want this DVD, so here is my entry.

I’ve been a bit crook, so I couldn’t take in any of the information that was emailed to me by Vijay.

But the dude clearly has a lot of information about test batsmen.

It is all about the best batsmen ever.

If you like long intellectual arguments comparing Hutton to Lara then you might like this.

Or you might want to kill yourself afterwards.

I think it is worth the trip over there so you can read the first comment.

Enjoy.

Most of that is true.

One time CWB writer Andrew Fernando has started a blog.

His latest post is about him describing Satan to a little kid:

“Around two years ago, a kid that I looked after asked me what I thought Satan would look like if he took human form. I thought about it for a while and gave a somewhat descriptive answer. “He would be of average height,” I said, “maybe even a bit on the short side.” “He would be pretty hairy, have dark, devious, squinty eyes and a permanent dickhead-like expression that made you instantly dslike him.” “He would also definitely be Australian,” I added. My young companion concurred.”

Andrew has also managed one of best first blogs of any cricket blogger, in that he ignores cricket and talks about Kate Winslet.

So get over there and check him out.

More importantly than Andrew’s blog is the fact that my book has made its film debut.

Ahmer Naqvi has made a student film that is all about being locked in a room.  Compared to some student films I have seen – often made by me – this seems pretty handy.

You can see my book being read with boredom at the 1:44 mark, or in the animation with Shahid Afridi at 3:30.

The Room from ahmernaqvi on Vimeo.

Sure this is a lazy post, but I am working on the magazine, so shit happens.

I found this at the newest picture cricket blog, planet durham.

It isn’t just about Durham, I promise.

Coming over here.

Taking our jobs.

Taking up our bandwidth.

Breathing our air.

Marrying our women.

Taking our blogs.

And, now, threatening to take our awards as well.

I didn’t even know that there was a category for ‘Greatest Number of Expletives Per Column Inch’, or ‘Most Gratuitous Mention of Bryce McGain in an Article’, but apparently Jrod has been nominated for some kind of award by the National Sporting Club. Which makes the rest of the socially inept munchkins who inhabit this place very proud of him indeed. Especially as it is for Best New Writer at the British Sports Book Awards.

Of course, when the old buffers who nominated him realise that (a) being a Victorian doesn’t mean you are over 100 and (b) he doesn’t own a suit, let alone a tie, he’s toast. But we’re very happy for him and hope that this might actually push sales of The Book into double figures.