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While Sidebottom looks like a drummer in a cover band, he is actually a medium fast left arm swing bowler.  In the modern game no bowler has ever improved form more by not being picked. Is out of the team so much he is a bit like the Maris Krane or Bob Sacamano of the English team.  Is prone to extreme stroppiness when a fielder makes a mistake from his bowling, never once considering the fact that in reality he is quite rubbish at the whole fielding caper.  On occasion he celebrates a wicket like he is in mid orgasm.

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6 Comments

  1. Dave Bird  •  Jul 7, 2010 @15:11

    Far more helpful than those stale cricinfo profiles :-) )

  2. Alok  •  Jul 7, 2010 @15:55

    Ryan Sidebottom is the alter ego of a quiet, mild mannered gent whose name no one can really recall but every one is sure they have seen. Nothing and absolutely nothing is remarkable about this man save that his wife cheated on him thrice (with 12 different men), his kids have disowned him and whose cat was run over by a trucker who sped away without so much as a “Fuck off!”. By nature he is incapable of expressing anger or even mild annoyance at the worst, preferring to shrug and then, later, allow his mind to gnaw at itself for having done something to deserve this.

    Inevitably his mind ate away so much of itself that he developed a split personality. A man whose very demeanour is pure rage and whose physical characteristics (the red hair and hungry Viking look) scream at the world for all the injustices heaped upon his nameless alter ego. His extraordinary skills being limited to cricket, Ryan Sidebottom finds an outlet for his incandescent and uncontrollable rage every time the fielder has the temerity to be positioned wherever the ball did not go and the batsman had the audacity to not get out on every ball bowled.

  3. ChuckME  •  Jul 7, 2010 @17:30

    jrod my lad giv us a one on punter

  4. Yawn  •  Jul 7, 2010 @22:47

    Lazyass elder brother of Puyol.

  5. Wes  •  Jul 7, 2010 @23:02

    Still wondering whether he is a likeable person or not. Today he isn’t, as he obviously kicked us out of the cup, as Yawn correctly points out. The way in which he expresses happiness evokes things in me I cannot describe here, or he will find me and happy me to death (he could if he wanted to).
    Wes´s last blog ..Australia greenwashed

  6. The Reverse Sweep  •  Jul 8, 2010 @07:24

    JRod, you forgot to add that Siders would easily survive a nuclear bomb given his amazing propensity to keep getting picked just when you thought his international story was over
    The Reverse Sweep´s last blog ..Pakistans quest for the Holy Grail