equatorThere was Lionel Ritchie singing with his microphone turned down. And other western acts.
Some drag queen dancing acts, except with the drag queens.
Bollywood stuff seemed to be happening as well.
Costumes that some people were comparing to klu klux klan on twitter.
Then Ravi yelled.
Andy Bichel did some commentary, he sounded like Danny Morrison on ketamine.
Lalit was missing most of the time, but in his place was a lady in a red dress, an obvious homage to the Matrix.
Brad Hodge looked pissed off.
Many snatch shots of the cheerleaders, none on super slow mo, maybe next year.
Angelo Mathews continues to not exist.
The Chargers song was remixed, still shit though.
Owais Shah had cut down his sleeves to show off the guns.
There were time outs, but they weren’t strategically named, but they were strategically used.
The IPL has ads between the balls, they are louder and less awkward than the Channel 9 versions.
ITV brought out Hoggard, Hick and some dude and some Indian chick for their coverage. Hoggy was ok, the rest were ordinary and only the Indian chick had done any research.
Gilly seemed to keep hitting the ball in the air and not getting caught.
I never thought I’d say this, but I wanted fake smiles from SRK.
Rohit Sharma continues to vie for Indian batsmen most likely to be assassinated.
The game fizzled out.
The Windies beat Zimbabwe.
Nap.
The IPL has started, not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with a carefully stage managed event that had shit western acts, lots of dancing, two teams making decent totals and Andy Bichel.
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lol on multiple counts! You are a shrewd man UncleJ! On the opening act, I have to sue Lalit Modi for making the world think we live in the 80s with sugar-pop music and laser lights. Urghh! How about we swap the desi chick (Mandira Bedi) for Ravi Sastri and LS? And you should hold an impromptu charity event to buy a holiday for VVS.
cb
Ad’s between balls…it brought a tear to the eye….there is no escaping it now…motherfuckers..
Hitesh´s last blog ..I’m a Sehwagologist…are You???
So it’s happening. There’s no denying. Lalit is taking over the world. Oh crap.
Sach´s last blog ..Nostalgia
It was a much better ceremony in South Africa last year, at much shorter notice too.
Rishabh´s last blog ..IPL Preview # 8 – Mumbai Indians
JROD: check out http://www.fakeiplplayer.com/ and search for ‘cricket with balls’
VVS slogged a six yesterday- Sign of the coming apocalypse?
Didnt know Ian Bell was in the IPL
My puppets are singing again. Pardon me master, I had to take leave for stupid exams. Alex do not exist Aleks Fan do not exist exam not needed
Fake Alex, pack your bags and leave. I am the real deal. You are fake ipl player i know. I see everything. Where is my puppet shaitan
If this had been my first exposure to the IPL, i’d think, from that opening ceremony, that it’s bang in the same league as the Filmfare awards — tacky Bollywood (redundant, i know) dancing, atrocious camerawork, and has-been ‘Western’ acts, because how will people know it’s an ‘international domestic’ tournament otherwise? And then there was, as others have mentioned, the Klu Klux Klan, doing… what I can only describe as very unenthusiastic jumping jacks.
Yet this is a tournament that, just one day later, promises us Warne, Tait, Tendulkar, Jayasuriya, Nannes, Viru.
What a pathetic way to showcase it.
Having watched the opening ceremony and match I have to say it was the dampest of damp squibs. Modi must be a genius to have sold this IPL thing so hard. The next step for Modi? Surely Head of British Airways – he is the only mortal man that can save them
The Reverse Sweep´s last blog ..Start of IPL3 fails to live up to Lalit Modi hype
Nice work jrod – leaving the clash of the colossi to theskiver and taking on the banal task of checking out masaala in mumbai.
I think cwb should boycott the event – imagine God (peace be on him) only being allowed 10 overs on average.
I am not fake because I do not exist. Aleks fan is attention seeking closet midget fan. Only I know Master’s cosmic force. Chokedulkar failed again today
It is a sign that our master is still watching these games, though he has chosen not to shower his wisdom upon us. Everyone let’s boycott Aleks fan unless he can prove that he hates statwhore. Maybe he is a vegetarian tamil nadu cow like srikkanth, pushing his son into team. Think 
The first day was crap. The second day though started with a bang with a really close match between Mumbai Indians and Yusuf Pathan..sorry, Rajasthan Royals.
100 runs in 37 balls. Cannot beat it in terms of awesomeness.
Dhananjay Mhatre´s last blog ..Short Story – A ride through the hinterland.
Ravi Shastri appears to be developing tourettes syndrome. That involuntary grunt at the end of each sentence is a worrying sign. Or maybe not. When he progresses to full swearing hopefully he’ll be put out to pasture and I can get my teeth recapped.
Someone should tell him that ‘How To Speak in Public (as told by by Tubby Taylor)’ is not considered one of the all time classics of self-help literature.
Why the hell is any cricket fan watching this steaming pile of horseshit? Substandard bowlers, flat wickets and no team owner clearly gives a fuck whether their team wins or not. It’s a friggin’ circus – it’s not long before elephants, clowns and naked females walk along the outfield – oh wait strike the last one, it’s already happening.
And soon the circus will travel the world! Oh I like this analogy.
But calling Nannes a substandard bowler might be bad for the visibility of your comment.
Wes´s last blog ..The Chappell-Helmet Trophy…
Pissed off? I play in a team captained by Ganfuckingguly. How else could I feel?
Too many awkward silence moments in the ITV coverage. No offence to Bedi, but she needs to gtfo and let the men talk. Alternatively she can sit there silently for eye candy.
1) Saw GOD today in the elevator for whole 2 seconds, shouted “Viru Bhai”…looked up at me and I felt my soul being cleansed. It was an intense experience.
2) Fuck, Harsha Bhogle is a nerd, had his pants pulled up to his nipples. Very non-discript, woudnt know even if he was standing next to you. Has the same, exact same voice in-person.
3) Greame Smith, Wayne parnell, Sid trivedi, Shane Warne, Dimitri, Morne Morkel, Shaun tait sighted
4) gotta give it up for Wayne Parnell, has a super hot gf. He was busy kissing her while waiting for the elevator, she seemed uncomfortable as Indian uncles/ aunties looked disapprovingly at her. She looked visibly awakward in a cute way, prolly her first time in India.
wayne was in the mood however, he wanted that ass.
will keep updating tommorow when I see them at the stadium.
- From Ahmedabad
I read this when it was posted, and the opening sentence made me think the IPL was a little strange, and I was a little suprised by the music chosen for a cricket tournament in India.
On second reading I realise that ‘western music’ meant American and European, and not numerous renditions of ‘rawhide’. I feel my enjoyment of the post has been lessened by this realisation.
^ Fuck everything else, you got a hug from Preity/Shilpa? No? Waste
yes Timothy, yes – fuck these pretenders. i hate t20 with such a vengeance i’d rather watch b’desh self-destruct.
But, will modi boss give live feeds of the elevators next – we can but hope?
lol, no hugs from Shilpa, Preity woudnt be in Ahmadabad. I am going to see Shilpa and her hot body at the game, me thinks my tickets are like 2 rows away from Shilpa. So I will try to do an “accidental” boob-press, fuck Kundra!
Totally stoked for the game.
Tim & Jogesh, staying up overnight to watch Bangladesh play poor test cricket has been more fulfilling than watching the IPL, but the 3am starts are killing me.
dont kid yourself jrod
Anyone watched Viru’s innings? Great to see him score 20+ in limited overs cricket, domestic/otherwise! And pretty sad that he got out after facing Warne only for a couple of balls (Warne suspiciously held himself back even when the game slipped, didnt he?). Was waiting to watch him slog em over midon just like Sachin did over a decade back.
cb
Commentator banned for not using the term “Citi Moment of Success” in an entire over
http://www.newsthatmattersnot.com/2010/03/commentator-banned-for-not-using-term.html
Tanay´s last blog ..Commentator banned for not using the term "Citi Moment of Success" in an entire over