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equatorAs far as cricket nations go, India was the horny teenager for a very long time.
All elbows, adam’s apples, and pimples, rubbing up against the cricket world in an excitable way, but generally doing their best work at home in their room.
Now they are a young adult, thanks to a lack of viable alternatives and their own maturity, they finally lost their virginity. It wasn’t a great moment, it was messy and unfulfilling, but it gave them the taste.
They wanted to make up for it, to prove to themselves, and everyone else, how manly and virile they were.
So they invited over a lady, one of stature and seemingly fading beauty.
It probably wasn’t the best time; they just weren’t in the best of shape.
The date was already set, no getting out of it, so they endeavor to conquer this voluptuous blonde mixed race beauty.
She arrives in disarray; emotionally she is ready to be consummated.
Problem is, physically and mentally, India are just not right.
From the moment she takes her coat off India can’t get anything right, they give her two spoons with her meal, which makes no sense.
Then they let her talk for what seems like days, the conversation just goes on and on, India never really participates. It bores India, and it wishes it would end, but India can do nothing to stop it.
Finally India interjects, but instead of praising the woman, India manages to insult her.
This angers the lady and she goes into a rage that essentially ends India’s chance at making of the love.
Even though she ends India’s chances early, she sticks around and really drills into India what could have been, enforcing her point.
India end up on their own again, it is not the end of the world.
There will be other ladies, India has plenty of time, but might have to spend a bit more time in its room alone.
A very apt description of past few days
When you say voluptuous – are you talking about Moobs Mcgee Kallis?
damiths´s last blog ..The team Chris Gayle’s in
Two centuries – does that count as second base?
Nah, DC – more like a kiss on the cheek before she leaves.
Rishabh´s last blog ..Finest beard in the game
Imagine getting to second base with Kallis – in the words of a young girl, eeewww
seems there’s a large Steyne on the sheets as well, won’t be able to get rid of that too easily
hahahaa.. super analogy. Was that just the best ever…!??
Indians lacked it all grit, determination, inspiration. Were praying for a draw and playing for a loss.
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I don’t know, it seems to me that India need to spend less time in that room, not more. You can’t expect to master the motion of the ocean if you spend all your time in the paddling pool.
reina´s last blog ..Ah, sweet Schadenfreude. Almost.
Come on ; what can the poor cricket team do even if they were presented such an opportunity especially if their bowling suffers from erectlie dysfunction; no wonder they can only feed the “woman”.
You see the bowling lacked the “penetration” and could not “rise” to the occasion; leaving the “consummation” improbable. It will be improbable for some time.
What the bowlers need is testestorone; not the Sreesanth/Harbahajan Mad “Maan-ki” Kungfu variety; but something like Mithun or even Munaf; WTF is Munaf.
So Bdesh can claim moral victory from the previous test series?
cb
Is it just me or suddenly the venue Eden Gardens seems more suggestive than ever!! India, take the voluptuous lady to the Garden of Eden and see you can get it right the second time. That way you can “stay on top”… of the rankings of course
Bangladesh only claims moral victories. Who cares about them. They will continue getting walloped and are extremely boring to watch even if it is for a short time.
I think Dan is riding them so hard Under the Down Under; can hear the moans and groans here…
Except for one untimely incident each with Pak, India and Australia in ODIs; they really have not claimed any victories other moral ones.
Thank your for ur post
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…”making of the love”…
tee hee
I suggest other potential lady friends for India:
Rough as guts prozzie, foul mouthed but really knows how to give the lads a good time, which leaves them not knowing what’s hit them. Worries about her age but is not that old, really. Beautiful in an unconventional way, has been known to fall in love with young, inexperienced young men and her knees weaken at the sight of long black flowing hair on them. Bi-curious, has had an ongoing relationship with a…
…pasty fat lady of indeterminate age. Gets wildly drunk and throws herself on anything in trousers, but always regrets it the next day. Talks interminably after her conquests and is quite sensitive to any criticism so her phone calls are rarely returned after that first, failed night of passion.
Hey, go easy on Bangladesh. They’ll get there. Even Don Juan had to start out with a few painfully awkward fumbles in a dark room somewhere.
And what Dan V and NZ are doing to them actually seems almost more clinical than brutal…I’ve just realized I don’t want to take this metaphor any further. There’s only so much innuendo I can work seamlessly into my analogies, unlike Uncle J, who is truly a master.
reina´s last blog ..Ah, sweet Schadenfreude. Almost.
Reina;
I would say you got the wrong Don as far a BD goes in cricket. They are more of the cervantes creation Quixoite by the way they keep repeating the same mistakes and have ridiculous team selections.
Frankly speaking I dont see them womanising anyone; and they are not kids any more; especially considering the modern game is so rapidly developing.
Venkat,
I disagree. Bangladesh are floundering, yeah, but they’re not at Quixotic levels just yet. I’m going to keep the faith.
Forget that, though, Afghanistan just beat Scotland, after beating Ireland yesterday. Top of the points table! Recognize!
reina´s last blog ..HELL. YEAH.
Just bad luck for poor Mr.tendulkar ,I guess
Reina;
Yes; Afghanistan has hope because they play with the necessary spirit and I think their skills and temperament are very good. I would love to see them in the Carribean taking on the big guns. Now thats a story.
Hopefully your faith will be rewarded on BD. I have none.
All this whining about a slow pitch and a bad umpiring decision carries no weight with me…the manager was never a great choice but the players need to stand up and be accountable as well…they were poor. for 100K a week I would expect them to be able to play on a lunar landscape and it just goes to show what a bunch of overpaid prima donnas the modern professional cricketer has become. We believe the hype we get fed about our cricketers continually from a frenzied media, about our players being world class as a way to justify there obscene wages….if they won the world cup then maybe some of them maybe worth the shed loads of money they get but I would still doubt it…..
Fucker Alex,
I’m out in the farmlands of Karnataka for a week and look what happens – you hex us so badly that we not only get deflowered on a turner, in 4 bhenchod days cricinfo informs me, but that wannabe Ashley Giles takes more wickets than both our spinners.
Was Steyn as good as Donald in Calcutta? That was the most unplayable spell of fast bowing I have seen in India post the windies era.
Fuck eet, these SA batsmen will bore even the bungalee eden garden pitch into behaving.
i give up.
Whats with the ‘awaiting moderation’ shit i say jrod. I thought moderate comments aren’t allowed.
i don’t know man…sachin tondulkar scored.
lol! SOB curator at Eden Gardens is calling the shots.. says, “Test cricket is meant to be played on good wickets. Can anyone please define what exactly a turner is?” WTF!!!
cb
I think u got it all wrong here. India was more like the lady here and South Africa the dudes.
It certainly proves that Sachin is not just someone who scores big when anyone can, alhthough getting out on 100 does lend some credence to the stat whore accusation.
If india loses in eden garden , that curator start looking for job now itself. if ball swings again he is toast!.
I do not think there is anything wrong in having dustbowls if your strength is spinners. My only issue is non spinner or irreugular bowlers should not get wickets in bunches like michael clarke did in bombay.
One pitch favors fast bowling , why not favour spin?. Why do people discriminate spinners…spinners need spinning wicket to survive.
In indian minds , 4 100s is better than 2 200s. Sachin aware of it , that is why he always gets out after 100 so he will get another chance at second innings. He hates big first innings score.
you people should wake and analyze that stat whore. He is the main reason india sucks.
I don’t mind people be selfish but once in a while you should play like dravid and hold one end especially in test matches.
if badrinath made double century and saved india , he would have been house hold name.
it only shows there is no dravid in the horizon , may be it is due to selectors refusing to rest sachin & co against weak teams like bangladesh.
SA looks like one angry rejected lady with fury.
“you people should wake and analyze that stat whore. He is the main reason india sucks.”
What doesn’t need analysis is the fact that that red-hot poker up your backside is not doing you any good. Pull it out fast and go see a psychiatrist pronto. You are scaring the other nuts out there.
I love Sachin. How can that be wrong?
That midget sachin is the reason india lost to South africa.
I think mentally retarded are sane people. Sane people are mentally retarded. if you only know.
You become sane when you start to accept things the way they are. Running in within a closed box is sane.
if you are going to call sachin GOD , he has to have won atleast won single game when everyone failed out 130+ odd tests. I do not like anyone who play for himself disregarding team goals. He is a stat obsessed fool. He want to be on top of ponting in century scored and run scored so bad , he will even commit suicide to achieve that.
I hope he breaks his leg, elbow , eyesight failing and everything.
WTF! Judging somebody based on their cricketing skills is something else, but wishing a person ill? That is just fucked on so many levels.
It is time sachin to retire from all form of the game and let youngster play in his place. Atleast he will play for team goals. I know no one in BCCI dare to drop sachin even India play weakest of weak team. So only way shut him out is he injure himself.
Can steyn or morkel break sachin jaw?. Possible,
Okay I’ll make you a deal. Steyn and Morkel can break jaws but to make sure that they break Sachin’s jaw to such perfection, so that he never returns to cricket they will have to practice on you first.
Are you willing to sacrifice your face for the ‘greater good’?
Only Alex can explain how killing himself will help Sachin stay ahead of Ponting stat-wise.
Rishabh´s last blog ..Finest beard in the game
CM, stop feeding the troll, you’re just encouraging him.
reina´s last blog ..Oooh. Burn.
TROLL Rocks.
May be ponting say he will stop playing if sachin commit suicide. hahahaha,
Sachin is so obesessed with top of the runs and centuries scored in Tests. if he finishes second 20 years of acuumulation go to waste in his mind.
In every india’s loss Sachin was the culpirit!.
Fuck off alex.
More you react more your god sachin hurt yourself by choking to South africa.
gud one bro……the question is, can the young adult, finally score over the voluptuous woman…….over to the garden of eden…..
Doods, its so refreshing to see a desi trash Sachin (even though I worship the guy).
Two 100s instead of a 200 – Alex, you do have your moments.
I am always right!.you need to shift through all the garbage if you look. Ha!.
Illusions everywhere hiding the truth. Truth is always there. You refuse to see. Humans attracted to garbage. They are.
They attracted to abuse quickly than think why not?.
It is easier to live in lillusion than reality.
Illusion : Sachin is master batsman , highest runs in Test cricket.
Reality: He choked every friggin time when india needs him and always looking for statistical milestones more than winning the game. He always looking for the reward not winning.
I see reality all the time , i shift through all sachin this and that garbage. He is a bottomline stat whore who is useless in india winning.
Indians need to have winning mentality and tough it out when things go wrong. Atpresnt indians are jingoistic and brainless monkeys. All of them.
Chidambaram say he guarantee security for IPL , oh well you really can’t gurantee with muslims (what ever the skin or color) (sleeper cells) around.
People are always innocent , only beliefs make them do evil things for the sake of master beliefs.
.
You will stop being jingoistic when you look at things honestly.
I spew crap , that is only to make sachin idiot followers react. Weak always react by absorbing crap.