equator“Oh, he is so cute and loveable; I just wanna take him home to my mum so we can double team him”.
I know that is what you think about little Nathan Hauritz. But behind that puppy dog exterior is a cold-hearted assassin. One who will kill anyone to get where he wants. An aspirational career driven sociopath.
Not only has he led many a batsman to their untimely and embarrassing end, he is also taking out Australian spinners one at a time.
First was beautiful Beau Casson, who was too young to die, but Hauritz took him out during a shield game, but made it look like suicide. He placed sweets down on a trail that led Beau got to the edge of a cliff and Nathan ran up behind him in a Mr Squiggle mask and said boo.
Then Bryce McGain was taken out when Hauritz bribed Kallis with 7 pigs he killed with his owns hands. When that wasn’t enough Hauritz showed Kallis and Prince this website, but most importantly the parts about Prince, Kallis and Bryce, to prove that I don’t exist and Bryce writes this site.
And now, Jason Krejza is gone.
It was probably the most horrendous of all Nathan’s crimes, as he did it with help of a whole team of suicidal Pakistani batsmen, and the Tasmanian brain’s trust.
It was disgusting, and when Nathan was finished all that was left was a puddle of blood, excrement and organs, with a newspaper clipping that was mostly unreadable except for the number 12.
Sorry to burst your bubble, people, but little Nathan is an angel of death.
One by one he is taking these spinners out. Right under our noses. Yet no one is doing anything about it.
Someone must stop him, otherwise Steven Smith will take a bite of some weird tasting vegemite sandwiches any day now.
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How cruel Jrod. Nice Nat is the only Aussie cricketer apart from St Dirk and the late Brett Lee that I find bearable – and now I am seeing him as some sort of demonic evil Spidernat spinning a web of death and deceit…
http://tinyurl.com/spider-nathan
Is Pup in danger too?
Rishabh´s last blog ..Here we go
he doesn’t even look like a grommet who’s had his lunch stolen anymore, there’s a hard look in his face, a realisation of all the cruel shit he’s done
I dont care about those, but if he ends Norths off spinning career I will destroy that puppy faced bastard.
damiths´s last blog ..Dilshan does New Zealand
Who was responsible for Symmonds’ expulsion? Someone had to take him out to get a foot in.
cb
It must be some voodoo stuff going on. Every time Hauritz destroys another spinner he gets their powers and adds it to his own a bit like cannibalism and eating your enemies to make yourself stronger…. (I think – never tested it!)
Notice that gradually Hauritz is improving (to the extent where the unthinkable happens and he takes 5 wickets in an innings twice in a row) but hasn’t taken a 10 wicket haul yet. Krejza has of course so don’t be surprised if in the very next game Nathan takes 12-110.
The world would have ended then of course as no one as unthreatening as Nathan should ever be able to take more than 2 wickets in a match.
A wholly improbable tale is it not….. or is it? or is it? *Queue for some terror music*
Damn. Jason Krejza is gone?. I was eagerly waiting for his super doosra.
May be it really hit a stone not actually a doosra.
Symmonds’ expulsion? That is michael clarke. He is full of jealousy….me me me…i dislike him. He cheats and try to get away mostly. I think michael clarke is luckiest guy. He gets what he wants even illegal means. He is like evil spirit.
HauritzIsGod… nuff said.
Mock Wah´s last blog ..Quick Update: Aus Pak T20 match
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8e6-IeQ0aw
Here’s Natalie Portman doing what she does best. Well not really :S
Rishabh´s last blog ..Here we go
Yawn, you could be on to something. I’m pretty sure if we go back through the security cam footage we’ll see that Nathan was actually buying Symonds the drinks at that pub in England before the Ashes.
So Tigers reckon that Xavier Doherty is their no.1 spinner, based on the fact that everyone likes him. Okayyy.
Will Krazy move states? NSW would be out. SA or QLD?
I was checking out the youtube vid of the the pulchritudinous Ms Portman and I realised something. The sound was not working so perhaps this helped with my eureka moment.
She looks like a boy.
A disturbingly attractive, cute and perky boy but a boy nonetheless.
Even in the frilly top this is apparent but once the leather jacket appeared it was obvious.
Does Mrs JRod know that Uncle J longs for a membership of AMBLA? That deep down and probably unbenknownst to him, he wishes to bat for the other team?
Perhaps that should be Auntie J.
oh Well little Nathan was in sleep mode in Pakistan ODI’s and slogged in his dream to 53 at one night but he is awake now.
But Gayle thinks it is 4-1and that 1 is lost now so all next will be a win for Gayle
Reverse Swing´s last blog ..West Indies will win 4-1 against Australia – Guru Gayle
I have news to break to you – Lord Nathan is NOT the angel of death – it’s me; I’m knocking them all off so that he gets a chance to prove to you all how truly Godlike he really is.
Knocking off the K-Word was the most fun, btw
Dustbinner´s last blog ..Some stuff that went on at the G (and around)
I like the idea of Ritz being a bit dangerous. Isn’t that the bite you claimed he didn’t have have?
Wes´s last blog ..Dark night, big forest, many trees, Wes lost @_@
Is it just me, or does Hauritz look more than a little like Bob the Builder?
Wes, isn’t fiction wonderful.
The whole team looks like Bob the Builder. I realised during the ODI at the MCG that now that Harris has joined the team, they are the roundest-faced and sandiest-coloured bunch of sportsmen on the planet.
Sort of like a bunch of well-hard Hollyhobby dolls.
Only MJ looks like himself and no-one else., that’s why he gets banished to long-on as he spoils the piccies.
This is not Ritzy. The real Ritzy is batting five for his club and bowling a few handy part time overs of slow stuff.
This is his evil doppelganger.
jamie64, this is not the real Harris either. He’s batting about 7 for his club and getting hit for five an over on Sat afternoons at the park.