South Africa went to Roshan Mahanama after play and complained that Stuart Broad stepped on a ball.
They probably thought that was a good idea, strike while the iron is hot.
In truth, they were way behind.
Broad had lodged his first formal complaint against the ball attacking his shoe at lunch.
He took his lawyer into the meeting with Roshan, and he also had a signed affidavit from his father stating that the correct way to stop a cricket ball is with the bottom of your boot.
Then Broad contacted his publicist to ensure that they could spin it his way.
And to finish it off he hired three former editors of Wisdens to write character witnesses for him.
By the time South Africa got in their complaint Broad had almost convinced Roshan that it was the South African batsmen’s fault for hitting the ball back towards Broad’s boot.
The ICC is formalising their apology to Broad, and expect South Africa to do the same.
Broad’s boot has remained tight lipped about the incident.
South Africa also were concerned about Jimmy Anderson picking at the ball.
Jimmy has not been proactive at all, he will probably be incarcerated along side Sulieman Benn.






Broad is one true English Gentleman…he never INTENTIONALLY offends anyone.
jrod, I’d like to know Sunil Gavaskar’s views -filtered via your sarcastic pen- on this
It’s because he’s white, of course. The Raj, superiority complex, arrogance etc. Did you know that bastard is a really offensive term to people who like to be offended? Bastard.
HAHAAA!! Nice ‘un!
BTW, finally bought ur book!
Cricket Tragic´s last blog ..Damn you, you bloody idiotic batsmen!
I fail to see what The Raj has got to do with England v South Africa.
The British Empire did enough vile things in southern Africa without bringing the Raj into it.
Also. Can’t Broad just be a dickhead without bringing racism into it. Some people are just cocky.
Yes, Lisa, he can be a dickhead without reference to any ‘ism’ and is.
Maybe he is a dickhead but he’s still in credit with me from my day at The Oval in August. Have found this all rather amusing, particularly since Jimmy’s offence appears more serious but seems to have been regarded as a far lesser crime by the Saffers. Well done Broad for evidently getting under their skins!
My copy of The Book was apparently dispatched a week ago, so why the f@&k has it not yet arrived? Pah!
Oh, JRod has told me that the pic I uploaded of him on my blog was a “bit of a scary close up”, so have obligingly added one of him further away from the lens and in more normal pose (and I don’t mean beavering away on his laptop).
SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..mr cricketwithballs in “normal” pose!
Sarah, dickheadishness is not necessarily a handicap in professional sport.
In fact I find it quite nice to have such a character in the team. It makes a change from more self-doubting types (see IR Bell, even Jimmy for years). It does make things more interesting.
Haha, that’s very true, Lisa! He isn’t a player who irritates me at all, though I’d be happy if he bowled more spells like the Oval & Durban ones and eradicated the dross he’s prone to in some sessions. He’s still pretty young though, so I can happily forgive him in the hope that he will only get better.
SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..mr cricketwithballs in “normal” pose!
He doesn’t particularly bother me either but I reckon he is still a cocky bastard. (I’ve been trying to imagine my reaction if he was Australian so as to empathise with others’ reactions.)
CT, good effort.
he is racist, as are all of you. and the south africans, they’re all nazis. look at them. they all dress in ss uniforms, like jaques kallis.
Broad escapes again. Nothing new.Chris broad probably calls smith to drop it.
if it would have been Gambhir , Match referee would have taken automatic decision and banned him for 1 year.
it is just skin color combined with papa’s influence.
no one wants to hurt his feelings after the six 6’s?!
The next time I go to an England game I’m taking along a banner that says “I wish my dad was a match referee”.
Not that I think that’s the reason Broad gets away with whatever he does. You can trust the ICC to be stupid enough to have a different set of rules for different people. It’s pathetic to read former a England captain write that Broad shouldn’t be penalised for what he did as it was just a stupid mistake, and that Broad and his teammates should be more subtle in going about cheating.
For the two British ladies,
I hope you find the childish antics of Sreesanth just as amusing.
Mahek´s last blog ..FICA and the need for a Collective Bargaining Agreement – II
Jrod, you forgot to add, Broad’s even got the broads defending him now, on various dubious cricket sites.
As for that Uncle Tom Mahanama, he makes Papa Broad look like the Dalai Lama – many seasons back he fined Prasad but let off the offending whitey, stating as the official reason that it was not in “our” culture to misbehave, so Prasad must be penalised. Not clear who should have been more offended by that remark, Prasad or the whitey.
I’m all for dickheads in cricket – just wish that the ICC Administacrats tolerate a uniform distribution.
Mahek, I find Sreesanth’s antics highly amusing.
SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Kent LVCC Huddle
Especially the crying!
SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Kent LVCC Huddle
Yeah, Sreesanth is hilarious. (I think dickish bowlers in general are pretty great. Batsmen less so.)
I also like the implication that I’m defending* Broad because I’m a lady. My ickle bwain turns to mush cos he’s *so pretty*… I also was really pleased Australia managed to fluke the win against Pakistan because they were wearing pink. [sigh]
* If defending means calling him a dickhead and not being too bothered by him
You ladies are just happy rooting for one of your own trying to make it in a man’s world
Mahek´s last blog ..FICA and the need for a Collective Bargaining Agreement – II
Lisa, I think the discussion is on them cheating. His general dickishness can be overlooked – many fast bowlers are juvenile, but thoroughbred brits cheating – of course not – so lets just pretend they were being silly and dickish.
http://www.timeslive.co.za/sport/cricket/article252383.ece
Love Atherton’s logic – we have our successor to Papa Broad.
To be honest I reckon I’d be more sympathetic to all the charges of cheating if it wasn’t also wrapped up in hyperbolic claims about racism, which is as much about Broad’s father and perceived injustices as anything else. Am probably over compensating to all the vitriol by being flippant.
As Sarah pointed out, what Anderson was (probably) doing was much more serious and obvious and it was surprising that the ICC didn’t say something about that. Maybe because ball tampering is such a heavy charge – that is also hard to prove – and previous disciplinary charges have backfired so spectacularly. (I think Gavaskarian ideas of BC Broad’s malign influence are absurd, although the ICC’s reluctance to piss off one of it’s most powerful members over equivocal evidence cannot be completely discounted.)
(On another related point. Many British commentators and journalists have been questioning the heinousness of ball tampering in the light of batting dominance and flat pitches for several months/years now, pre-dating English players being accused. Most of the negative comments about Pakistan/Oval were about withdrawing in a huff, not ball bothering itself.)
^ In case it wasn’t obvious I meant the last paragraph as a slight riposte to the claim that Britishers only don’t think it’s that big a deal now that Brits have been accused and are trying to minimise the crime.
@Lisa – When Wasim + Waqar were using reverse swing to bamboozle the English, of course they were cheating. When England used reverse swing to win the Ashes in 2005, all of a sudden it is a legitimate skill.
The above are not hyperbolic claims of racism…simple facts. Notice a general trend?
Apologies and a correction: It wasn’t Mahanama who fined Prasad, it was Ranjan Madugule.
Lisa, the irrelevant racism and the raj angles were raised by Johnny Twoshoes so that the desis could get worked up. Din’t think you whiteys would fall for it.
Whitey media and match referees arguments to defend their own can briefly be summarised as follows:
1. Downplay the charge – oh, he was being childish, not a cheat, or, oh he was being patriotic and passionate, not racist, or, the appeal was slightly over the top, but he wasnt challenging the umpire at all, or, boys will be boys, these things happen, the game would be so boring otherwise, etc etc
2 Give utterly irrelevant anecdotal evidence to refute the charge – like – I met him at a party, he was such a polite and friendly bloke, he couldnt have done those things…
(btw, this was even used by Ali Bacher to proclaim Ntini’s innocence when Ntini was arrested for rape)
3. Its his first offence, he’s never been fined before. This is a real beauty used so effectively by match refs – its self-perpetuating – so a gambhir becomes a serial offender and a watson or a broad have never done anything beyond a level 1.00000001 offence.
4. Hide behind a technicality – like the ICC is doing in this case.
Enjoy:
http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1986/soyinka-lecture.html
“Is that perhaps too stark a paradox? Then let me take you back to Hola Camp. It is cattle which are objects of the stick, or whip. So are horses, goats, donkeys etc. Their definition therefore involves being occasionally beaten to death. If, thirty years after Hola Camp, it is at all thinkable that it takes the ingenuity of the most sophisticated electronic interference to kill an African resistance fighter, the champions of racism are already admitting to themselves what they continue to deny to the world: that they, white supremacist breed, have indeed come a long way in their definition of their chosen enemy since Hola Camp. They have come an incredibly long way since Sharpeville when they shot unarmed, fleeing Africans in the back. They have come very far since 1930 when, at the first organized incident of the burning of passes, the South African blacks decided to turn Dingaan’s Day, named for the defeat of the Zulu leader Dingaan, into a symbol of affirmative resistance by publicly destroying their obnoxious passes. In response to those thousands of passes burnt on Cartright Flats, the Durban police descended on the unarmed protesters killing some half dozen and wounding hundreds. They backed it up with scorched earth campaign which dispersed thousands of Africans from their normal environment, victims of imprisonment and deportation. And even that 1930 repression was a quantum leap from that earlier, spontaneous protest against the Native Pass law in 1919, when the police merely rode down the protesters on horseback, whipped and sjamboked them, chased and harried them, like stray goats and wayward cattle, from street corner to shanty lodge.”
> I think Gavaskarian ideas of BC Broad’s malign influence are absurd,
Every single non-white agrees with Gavaskar about Papa Broad, and many whites do too. He is extremely prejudiced, as were Darrell Hair and Mike Dennesss
How tragic that its still inconceivable to you that one of your own could be biased – you are fair by definition you see. (apply Point 1 – Downplay the charge – I think a reference to the misunderstanding caused by diverse cultures would be most appropriate here).
The trend I notice is that teams that succeed with reverse swing are accused of cheating (see the Ws; NZ spitting a dummy whenever they lose to Pakistan; also England in 2005, this week) and that their compatriots tend to refute that accusation.
I don’t think it is quite comparing like-with-like with Waqar/Wasim as when they appeared reverse swing was a totally new phenomenon for many and had something of the “Dark Arts” about it. Since then there has been 20 years of scientific explanations and demystification. It is now accepted that it is possible to do legitimately under the right circumstances. (It has also known that it has sometimes been achieved illegitimately using bottle tops, scratchy trousers, fingers, soil, boots(?) etc., plus there are the grey areas of sugary spit, throwing the ball on the bounce etc.)
I’m not sure where I’m going with this as am knackered and need to go to bed, but I would say that the fact that the English commentariat have changed their minds over 20 years does not indicate racism. It could just mean that they’ve accepted the evidence. There would be hypocrisy (racism?) if the same people simultaneously condemned Pakistan but there isn’t much evidence of that. It is a part of the game that needs to be policed and officials should be vigilant and punish those who obviously transgress. Officialdom has decided that this was not an obvious transgression, as for that matter did the South Africans presumably as they did not put in an official complaint.
Sorry Jogesh, hadn’t read your comments before publishing.
I was referring to the absurdity that officials don’t punish Stuart Broad because they are influenced by Chris Broad not that it is impossible that Broad senior is racist. That’s why I referenced Gavaskar. (I don’t know whether Chris Broad is racist. The perception is certainly there but I have never really investigated the matter. Maybe I will this weekend. I really ought to question my white privilege more often anyway. As long as you agree to question the patriarchy.
)
I accept that there are issues to do with power structures and historiography and the Other all bound up in cricket politics, and that is one of the many reasons that sport, and cricket in particular, is so interesting. I also accept (as I admitted above) that I was being flippant. I’ll be explicit: Broad, especially, pushes the lines of what is acceptable. He may have been attempting to cheat. (I would say that he seemed to be excessively drained and tired out by the heat that day so I don’t find the suggestion that he was being lazy and thoughtless totally impossible, although unlikely.) But Anderson was also accused, yet Broad gets all the attention? (He seems to be seen as the embodiment of English privilege – because of his dad? – so it is not surprising that England supporters don’t have the same reaction that others do.)
- I fell for the Raj thing cos the lack of relevancy and imagination in the trolling annoyed me. Concentration camps during the Boer war would at least have been related to the matter at hand, albeit hyperbolically.
Papa Broad’s patriarchy – so glad someone noticed
.
In fact the languages of orientalism and racism are entirely patriarchal – applied to the categories of race, society and civilisation of course.
White woman v/s brown caste hindu male – its a tough call which one of us has the higher moral ground.
Re Gavaskar – he always has an hidden agenda, so maybe youre right, its very possible Baby Broad gets let off simply because he’s white, and not because of his pappy.
Reverse swing a Dark Art, like witch doctors and vooo-dooo and tom-toms – you dont say! These demmd natives really are the schemingest little devils. Like that darkie Ranji, he had the audacity to cross his legs and tickle the ball to fine leg I say. Should have stemmed the rot right there – but those dashed liberals at the MCC – allowing the chappie to represent England in the Ashes. And before you know it they’ve got rubber wristed niggers bowling wrong-un offies – whats that you say – the ddhoos-rah, I see, the chaps have a name for it too, sounds like the last orgasmic gasp of a ravaged Maharani if you ask me, … .
Absolutely Lisa, no racism there at all, just the whitey rational analytical mind at its best.
Demystification – oh boy!
Whitey defence demystified:
Point 1.1: Deny Intent.
So Broad stepped on the ball and it was tampered, but it wasn’t intentional – he was just tired.
So Haddin waves his bat at Benn, but it wasnt intended to be threatening.
So Watson and McGrath always get in the way of batsmen running, but it isnt intended to block them.
So Ponting throws the ball at Jayasuriya who hasnt left his crease, and hits him, but it was intended for the keeper.
Oh for fuck’s sake. I can’t be bothered.
This site used to be fun.
I rather resent the implication that I’m automatically a racist and can’t be objective because a) Broad amuses me and b) I’m white. Strikes me if white people said half the things others do, we’d be slated appallingly but others seem to think they can make these inflammatory comments & it’s acceptable precisely because they are not white. Racism isn’t just one way, you know. Or maybe I’ve just missed the point of the argument on here?
Agree, Lisa – probably best to stop commenting on this particular thread now.
SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Paul Collingwood
As long as you learnt something – though i doubt it.
Hey Alex did you know that Jogesh99 is Sachin’s number 1 fan?
I do apologise. I was reading elsewhere and the ridiculousness of the comments had started to annoy me, I should have kept my comments to the right blog. I’m also new to this lark and didn’t realise that anyone would take me the slightest bit seriously. I also agree that I committed the sin of being less relevant than I should have.
Head in hung in shame – it won’t happen again.
I’ve been finding this stuff really boring and I now get that’s why I should have kept my mouth shut as I only made it worse.
This blogging/social networking thing really does work like a day care center, doesn’t it?
Anyone notice how Broad’s batting has turned shithouse after he started becoming a real bowler – Beware, The Search For The Next Botham snarls and licks its chops, looking for a new doll to chew up.
LL – now thats downright nasty!
Alex – LL is a crypto-chokedulkarphile, he once had SRT tattooed on his arse.
Timothy – yeah, and they both ball tamper and then play holier than thou.
I wonder who Broad plans to sue?
Gah this jogesh99 is such a drag. “Whitey”? THE RAJ? Really dude? Maybe with the hordes of Indian cricket fans descending upon various internet fora, the hitler complex will be displaced by whatever-it-is-you’re-implying. As an Indian fan, I limit my discourse to Sachin-worship and Sehwag-adulation (yea pantheism!). Maybe you should too.
Broad will never be booked. Gadzooks, the man looks five years old