equatorHe is Ian Bishop’s favourite player.
His name implies he is some sort of Italian Welsh dockworker.
And he comes across as some sort of Shane Watson prototype except without the mental baggage and jellybean body.
He just isn’t real.
I am sorry to break this illusion, but Angelo Mathews does not exist.
Sri Lanka has a team full of amazing dudes.
King Kumar, coolest motherfucker out there.
Murali, keeper of the record.
Malinga, with the sling and hair.
Mendis, magic fingers.
Sanath, the swashbuckling old man of the ODI.
Dilshan, pimpin’ the scoop.
Samaraweera, the bastard got shot.
All these dudes are match winners and are memorable in one way or another.
They all have a presence. Samaraweera and Dilshan both have gangsta limps for fucks sake.
You expect them to make an impact, you know how to feel about them winning a game of cricket.
Mathews is different.
It isn’t his fault.
He just doesn’t seem to have any reasons to recognise he actually exists.
And I was there when he destroyed the Windies in the world 2020 thingy.
I saw it, with my eyes.
But I was clever enough to look beyond the reality.
Nothing he has ever done has felt real to me.
So I have a theory.
He does not actually exist, he is a construct.
With a team with so much players capable of freakish acts of awesomeness our brains could no longer process it all.
Our brains had to make something that explained the phenomena of Sri Lanka.
So a medium fast not so special looking bowler who bats pretty well without being that explosive or eye catching was created.
It makes sense really.
Our collective unconscious has created this man.
So now when Kumar or Dilshan play a lusty innings, and our minds can’t handle it, we see Angelo Mathews on the scorecard.
If Malinga or Murali bowl so well that the batsmen appear to be on converyor belts, it is Mathews who our eyes see before us.
Ofcourse you might have not seen his name, to you he may not exist.
It could just be my head coming up with this Angelo character and the rest of you can’t see him.
Or maybe he does exist for real.
I doubt it though.
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You HAD to insult your imagination! Comparing him with Watson and all…
Yea at least Indian best wish could be like Angelo Mathews doesn’t exist, oh come on BHAGWAN atleast for Compaq Cup final, please. lol
PS: Final will be interesting
jrod is younger than jayasuriya.
shite
What are you talking about? Who is this Angelic Matthews? I don’t want to hear about another successful Sri Lankan to be honest. Ever since an anonymous bowler ended up destroying India by taking 6/20 in the last match, I’ve had to go back to bashing some poor kiwi to recover some kind of pride.
ANGELO MATHEWS IS SOO AWESOME! yuo guys just do NOT know what you are talking abuot.. man I feel bad for u… he is the BEST!
HTS, The point of this post is that he is so good, but it is still slightly unbelievable. A special skill.
I dont think you guys want to hear about mother fucking shit. which mother fucker said that kumara sangakkara is one. srilanka is a small country that won a world cup and become world runners up 2 times. I know the bitch that wrote this does not have a mom and does have a loosing cricket team. thats why you were being jealouse about srilanka the land of the lions .I’ma fuck you off bitch.
Your mom, what I love about your comment is it makes no sense on any level. I don’t even know what you are talking about at any stage, but I love it.
UncleJ, being Sri Lankan, I can understand where those two comments above came from. Sometimes we tend to be a bit touchy, you know, about these things. LOL.
Worry not though, majority of us aren’t the same though…
Awesome post mate. Keep ‘em coming.
lol brilliant.. he is quite a find isnt he? a lot of potential to become a really deadly all-rounder, but right now i just love his enthusiasm the most!
ya “your mom” got a lil carried away…..i dont think he entirely understood the substance of this article….but regardless his confusion I think mathews is transforming to be a super mathews., with those 6 wickets against india for 20. and his super fielding skills….he still has a long way to go tho..
ya “your mom” got a lil carried away…..i dont think he entirely understood the substance of this article….but regardless his confusion I think mathews is transforming to be a super mathews., with those 6 wickets against india for 20. and his super fielding skills….but there’s always room to improve…
jrod i have one thing to say to you mate,
SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!
good day!
***Before any more Sri Lankans who haven’t understood this post put up another idiotic comment, let me say this, “This post is not bagging Sri Lankan Cricket, it is in honour of the Sri Lankan team.” Even Mathews, especially Mathews.
NO! YOU LIE JROD! Take for instance these sentences
1) “So a medium fast not so special looking bowler who bats pretty well without being that explosive or eye catching was created.”
2) “And I was there when he destroyed the Windies in the world 2020 thingy. I saw it, with my eyes.”
How could any Sri Lankan not have understood those two sentences? TAKE IT BACK NOW!
/Goes back to chuckling at the motivation for this post
Achettup. I just found out where these were coming from, the Angelo Mathews facebook fanpage. But I have had 16 “likes” and only 4 bad comments on there. I always said I was too subtle.
Jrod, now I seriously feel bad about this. This is one reason why I never bothered to share this blog with many too touchy Sri Lankans. LOL…
Is your mom referring to my mom or his?
Its terribly confusing.
Jrod, you may have hit another nail on the head here. Mathews is a figment of Sri Lankas orthodox imagination. I dint think we had it in us till Angelo walked in.
I still dont believe it though. Im sure something is wrong with him. Maybe he is a hermaphrodite or something.