Reasons why Australia can still win retain the Ashes

Posted by: jrod
on Jul 28, 2009
in categories ashes, aussies, poms

Stuart Broad.

Mathematically they are only one test behind.

Mitchell Johnson’s mum loves him.

Freddie will not be allowed to use a wheelchair on the field.

Nathan Hauritz is god.

Ian Bell.

Giles Clarke never wears suits that fit him, James Sutherland does.

Shane Watson won’t play.

Marcus North is sick and tired of no one knowing him and will come out swinging making a better than a run a ball double hundred.

The real Mitchell Johnson flies in tomorrow.

Jimmy Anderson just looked at the stats and realised he is shitter than Mitchell Johnson.

Emma Prior keeps sitting on Richie’s knee.

If England wins Mark Nicholas will have to start supporting England again and that will cause a rip in the space-time continuum that will force the whole planet to be sucked into another universe.

They‘re playing England.

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There are 14 Comments

13 Comments

  1. AndyinBrum  •  Jul 28, 2009 @14:33

    the last one sums it up best

  2. Moses  •  Jul 28, 2009 @14:37

    Bloody good point JRod.

    Johnson
    22 2 87 3 3.95
    22 4 44 2 2.00
    21.4 2 132 3 6.09
    17 2 68 0 4.00

    Total: 82.4 overs, 8/331 @ 41.3

    Anderson
    32 6 110 2 3.43
    21 5 55 4 2.61
    21 4 86 0 4.09

    Total: 74 overs, 6/251 @ 41.83

  3. Homer  •  Jul 28, 2009 @15:01

    One reason why England will win – Ricky Ponting.

    Cheers,

  4. jkal  •  Jul 28, 2009 @15:04

    Do I see signs of JRod jumping from Sehwagology to Hauritzology? Not cool JRod.

  5. Alok  •  Jul 28, 2009 @16:05

    Two words..

    NO KP.

    I expect 1-1 at the end of edgbaston

  6. patgarrett  •  Jul 28, 2009 @16:06

    You forgot to mention Justin Langer’s return as opener.

  7. sam  •  Jul 28, 2009 @17:10

    local knowledge from a birmingham boy – it’s gonna rain.

    and rain.

    and rain.

    stick a tenner on the draw.

  8. Jamie64  •  Jul 28, 2009 @23:33

    Siddle’s numbers are worse than Mitch’s.

  9. Matt  •  Jul 29, 2009 @02:16

    I reckong had Mitch not exploded in Perth and then in 2 of the 3 Saf tests not one would be batting an Pattinson – it’d be business as usual from a wayward bowler with the wicket taking x factor. I reckon we need to keep him andpossibly shoehorn clark in there too – Clarj and Hilf opening, siddle and Mitch to follow- take the pressuer off him a bit.

  10. Dhananjay Mhatre  •  Jul 29, 2009 @04:34

    Play McDonald. As I had mentioned in an old comment, his dibbly dobblies sure will piss all over Sherminator and Bopara.

  11. Pete  •  Jul 29, 2009 @05:04

    No KP v Ronnie showdown alas.

  12. Jake  •  Jul 29, 2009 @09:37

    This just in – No, they won’t let Fred use a wheelchair, but they will let him use a segway.

  13. jrod  •  Jul 29, 2009 @13:46

    Jake, Segway, damn, that was that I originally wanted to write, but i couldn’t remember the name of them.

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