Previously at Lord’s

Posted by: jrod
on Jul 18, 2009
in categories ashes, aussies, poms

Australia

3 wickets in 3 overs. Do a little dance, make a little love. Then the rest of the day happened. Dance with a Polar bear, fuck an anthill.

England

Couldn’t have gone much better. Bowling on a good batting wicket, and watching the batsmen miss straight ones and hook into the hands of fielders.

Will England win

They should, but this wicket is still good to bat on, and there is a little more rain due. Their only chance is to enforce the follow on and hope Australia continue to bat like drunken car thieves.

Play of the day

Peter Siddle was crook. Really crook. And the melodrama that was his “will he or won’t he” vomit was sensational. I think it could have been funnier if someone from sky had run out and put their fingers down his throat so we could get the best HD super slow mo shot ever. Brad Haddin’s hopping around as Alastair Cook followed him around trying to get the ball out of his knee roll even though both men must have known it was a dead ball wasn’t bad either. 

Testicular moment of the day

Mike Hussey gets this; he has been in worse form than Britney Spears. Coming in at 2/10 he should have folded as he has done for such a very long time. Instead he looked pretty comfortable (proof of how good the wicket was?).  It shows far he has slipped that he can win this award when he makes a 50 on a flat pitch.

Working class moment

Jimmy Anderson made 29 and took 4 for 36. He didn’t’ t run through Australia or slog them completely around the park, but he was England’s best bowler and their best batsmen today.  Can’t fault that.

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There are 2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Steve  •  Jul 18, 2009 @06:57

    I hope Ricky’s organizing a whole team of Bo Derek physios.

    England didn’t play well; Australia were just shit, that’s all. That’s what the Poms always say when we thrash them.

    Siddle is a total dildo. He got “food poisoning” during the tour of SA, too. How do you manage to get sick on lunch at Lord’s and a meal at the team hotel? Kentucky Fried chicken nuggets from room service? Late night takeway lebo roll? Or did doting Mummy pack all his faves from home in his douche bag for midnight feasts?

    Roy should have had a minder for the beer. Siddle probably needs a nanny to control his lolly consumption.

  2. Lou  •  Jul 18, 2009 @09:56

    But why are they playing so shit? How difficult can it be? England isn”t South Africa or India. They aren’t particularly good, but think they are no 1. I know, I live here.

    All that crap before the series started when the players were standing up and saying what the Ashes meant to them sounds like a really fine way to wind-up inexperienced players not used to the pressure to me.

    Well done management there.