cricket with balls

No, really.

“‘This clown’s a Twitter batsman – 140 seconds maximum and then it’s over’

Peter Siddle to Monty Panesar

‘Mate, did they take the excess hair from your arms to fix your bald spot?’

Kevin Pietersen to Ricky Ponting

‘Ever wonder who’s going to pay for Stanford’s bail? I’d check the joint account if I were you’

Brad Haddin to Matt Prior

‘Cooky, who does your eyeliner? It’s divine’

Marcus North to Alastair Cook

‘I’ve seen nuns that deviate more than your deliveries, mate’

Phillip Hughes to Stuart Broad

‘Colly, do the right thing and give your MBE to Claire Taylor. There’s a good bloke’

Nathan Hauritz to Paul Collingwood

‘You couldn’t turn an oven knob, pal’

Collingwood to Nathan Hauritz

‘Swanny, when are you gonna give Roger Ramjet his chin back?’

Michael Clarke to Graeme Swann

‘Huss, heard you were the only man in India not to get the runs’

Andrew Flintoff to Mike Hussey

‘Freddie, did you leave your brain on the bus this morning? Did you even make it to the bus?’

Hussey to Flintoff”