equatorI cannot believe that England are thinking of dropping Bell, Harmison, Monty, or Collingwood.
We all know whom to blame for this loss.
KP.
He of the, ugh, dumbslog millionaire, nickname.
Remember him going out for 97, ofcourse you do, because the moment he went out you said to yourself, he has lost the game for England, what a massive bell end (apparently this is an English penis joke, as the penis resembles the end of a bell, not Ian Bell, who is an actual penis).
His wicket, while trying to hit Sulieman Benn into the IPL, was so obviously the cause for England’s collapse on day 4, that it is hardly worth mentioning.
From that moment on, no intelligent cricket fan could have thought that England were going to win the game.
97; a massive failure.
While other English players were going out in more traditional ways, through fear and defensiveness, KP yet again snubbed the traditions of English cricket.
Who does he think he is?
When England lose they like to keep the spirit of their cricket alive, but going out on 97 while trying to bring your hundred up with a 12 is not in that spirit.
He should not only be dropped, but England’s top fencer, Richard Kruse, should take KP into Trafalgar square, and carve out that English tattoo infront of a crowd of drunken chavs.
Because that is more English than going out for 97.
Other things more English than going out for 97 include:
Bowling great line and length, almost never getting hit off the cut strip, and taking no wickets (RJ Sidebottom).
Failing in both innings of your debut as full time captain (AJ Strauss).
Earning money for nothing because you once held an important title. (MP Vaughan).
Being given the second most important job because you went to a toffy assed school (AN Cook).
Getting the love of the English public for the odd breathtaking performance and being a great drunkard (A Filntoff).
Starting off as the saviour before the whole of England slowly turns on you (MS Panesar).
All these things are good and proper English behaviour.
Top scoring, and saving your team from a terrible first innings score is not.
Shame on you KP, 200 years ago you would have been sent to Australia for this behaviour.
Now you just get slated in the times.
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He just lost sight of the balls for an instant. He was learning where to hide the 10% from his county chiefs.
Failing in both innings of your debut as full time captain (AJ Strauss).
Tubby Taylor started his captaincy career with a pair on debut. Ergo, he was secretly English?!? No wonder he kept trying to lose the Ashes with his shit-tastic batting. Bastard!
Without KP’s contribution the deficit between the first innings would have been greater. He was our best batsman, he did give his wicket away but that is the way he plays. The other players have to take more of the blame for the defeat, apart from KP, Broad, Prior, Flintoff, who else made a valuable contribution.
Bell looked in good nick as always and then stumbles when pressure is applied. Collingwood has only played a good innings when his place is under pressure in thee last two years. Panesar has bolwed the same six deliveries every over (i.e. no variation). Cook shouldn’t be dropped but has technical issues, Harmison’s form has been indifferent, while Sidebottom lacks venom and threat on pitches that offer no swing.
I thought u were never going to use “dumbslog millionnaire” ever ever
Q, but i had to in a sarcastic post.