equatorThe 10 Virendandments – Sehwag’s Revelation in the Old Testament (Wisden).
They were given directly by Sehwag to the people of India at
Chidambaram Stadium after He had delivered them from Boredom in Chennai:
“And Sehwag spoke all these words, saying: ‘I am the opening batsmen, your God…
ONE: ‘You shall have no other gods before Me, except Sachin and maybe Sunil.’
TWO: ‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Infact don’t carve anything that is not wide outside off stump.’
THREE: ‘You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, so if you stub your toe, try to not say Oh Sehwag.’
FOUR: ‘Remember the 3rd day, the pitch is often at it’s best.’
FIVE: ‘Honor your father and your mother, and your sponsors.’
SIX: ‘You shall not murder, exceptions made for opening bowlers, spinners and probots.’
SEVEN: ‘You shall not commit quick singles.’
EIGHT: ‘You shall not be worrying about playing and missing.’
NINE: ‘You shall not bear false witness against the BCCi.’
TEN: ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, but if he bowls a wide half volley hit it like it stole your donkey or ox.’
If you want me to stay away from your donkey or ox, you can do so by commenting here and sending my blog to the wisden cricketer, where there is no talk of of donkeys.
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Where do I sign up, and how should I pay the massive percentage of my salary that will obviously be required..
And in lieu of Tom Cruise, I can be chief Sehwagology trainer/brainwashing fella, while you deal with the media and making up a completely fictitious religion that’ll make us rich beyond our wildest dreams!
You are back in form. LOL nice
Just two percent of your grosse income is fine, for the first year.
Scorp, was i out of form?
2% wow… they charge at least 20 in scientology..
Looks like I need to be your finance and marketing man too!
2% is for the first year. Second year is 90%.
Now we’re talking big man!
I like the cut of your J I B
this post,like brad pitt in burn after reading, had me in complete raptures
i think u could respost this as i am sure many ,like me b4 i read this,would be in the dark..enlighten then jrod =D
smite me oh mighty smiter!
i was a non-believer. i thought the lack of back foot movement would show him up against inswing! i thought Nathan Bracken was his undoing. i thought the short one into the ribs would hobble him. i was wrong!
I believe!
I had a dream Sehwag turned up to fill in for the Cornwall NBLs one Saturday. Is this blasphemy? We were playing the Indian taxi drivers.
October 20 is Lord Sehwag Jayanthi. No bowler will bowl a short-pitched delivery outside off-stump that day. If he does, he shall be crucified!
If you try your ass hard to hit every ball for a square cut, Lord will reward you with eternal strength to play perfect square-cuts and on-drives.